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‘The Star Thrower’ and the Difference You Can Make

In 1978, author Loren Eiseley published an essay called “The Star Thrower.” It recounts a beach walk by a narrator...

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Soundscapes for Restorative Sleep and Mindfulness 

In the hustle of daily life, finding moments of peace and tranquility can sometimes feel like an impossible dream...

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Soundscapes for Restorative Sleep and Mindfulness 

How to Look Forward to a Positive Future in Any Circumstance

Posted on by Holly Lebowitz Rossi

We know that optimism is good for us. Good for our mental health, connected to longevity and associated with more positive physically healthy habits.

But during uncertain times like the coronavirus pandemic, it might feel hard to grasp our usual positive outlook. After all, we still don’t know when we can go back to work, to school, to restaurants, to concerts, to birthday parties—to the life we thought of as normal.

So we might ask fretfully: what do we have to look forward to?

I’ve been thinking about this as the weeks of isolation and social distancing unfold. And I have found comfort and uplift by focusing on the simple two-word instruction hidden in that question.

Look forward.

Setting our sights on a positive future is in itself an act of courage and optimism. I would wager everyone reading this has done their fair share of looking ahead and feeling worried, anxious and doubtful. I know I have—and some degree of these challenging emotions are normal and expected during unprecedented times.

But we support ourselves with authentic positivity when we encourage ourselves to balance our thinking, and in this moment, we can do that by looking forward.

Looking forward means taking actions today—planting a seed, starting a journal, watching an instructional video for a new hobby—that will benefit the tomorrow you want to see.

Looking forward means making a decision to let go of something that you realize was not serving your positive life.

Looking forward means daydreaming about gatherings, celebrations, vacations and all the things you want to do—and making lists of first steps you could take to make those dreams come true.

Looking forward means reaching out to someone in your life who you want to deepen your relationship with and starting a conversation.

Whatever the future holds, we can face it together with authentic positivity, courage and unity if we just can remember to hold our heads high and look forward.

How to Live by Faith, Not Fear

Posted on by Pablo Diaz

Are you afraid of making decisions, asking your boss for a raise, leaving your secure job to pursue your life’s dream? Whether we are in the beginning of our careers or toward the end, fear has a way of interfering with our choices. The other day, I was purchasing a new pair of glasses when a young sales lady shared that after working the past six years at the same store, she is now leaving to become the communications director for another company.

When telling me this, her facial expression changed from being eager to nervous. She said, “I’m excited and also afraid.” I responded, “What are you afraid of?” She said, “I am afraid of not having enough experience and the unknown.” I offered words of encouragement, reminding her of her education, value and business experience. The young lady paused and said, “You are like a life coach.” We both laughed and continued with the business transaction.

Read More: 3 Bible Verses to Help Overcome Fear

Why is it that we allow fear to get in the way of our dreams, life and even of our faith journey? It’s only natural to feel fear in the midst of change and of the unknown. However, when it stops us from doing and living to our fullest, it’s an issue that we must face. Author Susan Jeffers of the book, Feel the Fear and Do It Any Way, offers good insight in her article “The Five Truths about Fear” that are worth sharing:

Fear Truth #1
The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow! Fear is part of the package.

Fear Truth #2
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and…do it! When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation.

Fear Truth #3
The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and…do it! With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops.

Fear Truth #4
Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else! You are not alone.

Fear Truth #5
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

When we apply the principles shared by Susan Jeffers and believe that God helps us push through our fears, we learn to live by faith and not by fear.

Lord, teach us to take small steps through our fears and to walk in the power of faith.

How to Leave Your Past in the Past

Posted on by Bob Hostetler

When Jesus modeled prayer to His early followers, He included the confession of sin and request for forgiveness in the short recipe we call “The Lord’s Prayer.” In doing so, Jesus modeled a daily soul-sweep, one that follows the request for today’s bread with a plea for today’s pardon. It is a kind of clearing of the daily mess we make, a wise preventive measure that keeps us from hoarding sins to our soul’s detriment. It is a daily do-over. A treasure of grace in the single word: forgive.

When Jesus told His followers to pray “Forgive us our sins” in His model prayer, He was prescribing not only a phrase but an attitude—a humble awareness of our need for mercy and grace, and a grateful embrace of forgiveness and soul cleansing.

Some people, however, struggle to receive God’s forgiveness because they cannot forgive themselves. A friend of mine tearfully confessed that he could never forgive himself for something he had done. I listened and then said something without thinking (I hate it when that happens…and I often wish it would happen less frequently than it does):

“Wow,” I said, “you must have really high standards.”

He blinked at me through his tears. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you believe God can and will and does forgive even the worst sinner, right?”

“Right.” The word came out slowly, as though he suspected a trap.

“But you can’t forgive yourself.”

He nodded. “Right.”

“Which seems to indicate that your standards are higher than those of the holy, righteous God of the universe.”

He blinked some more.

“Which maybe—I’m just spit-balling here—says that either you or your sin is bigger in your mind than God is.”

He shook his head. “No, I—I’m not saying that.”

“But if God says you’re forgiven, and you say what you did is unforgivable…you both can’t be right. So it really sounds like you’re saying you know more than God. Or your standards are higher than God’s. Or maybe you are.”

He didn’t answer but continued to shake his head.

I tried again. “I think the issue is whether you can accept what God says instead of what you think—whether you can believe that God’s mercy and grace are bigger than your sin and guilt, whether you can really trust His promise that if you confess your sins He will forgive your sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.”

It took some more time and discussion, but before we were done talking, his resistance melted away, and he was able to accept God’s forgiveness.

When we pray, “Forgive us,” we can accept the Father’s forgiveness and claim His cleansing work in our hearts. We can leave our past in our past. We can check our baggage and walk away unencumbered. We can experience the blessing expressed by hymn writer Albert Orsborn:

Wash from my hands the dust of earthly striving;
Take from my mind the stress of secret fear;
Cleanse thou the wounds from all but Thee far hidden.
And when the waters flow, let my healing appear.

(Adapted from The Red Letter Prayer Life, by Bob Hostetler)

How to Learn to Enjoy Change

Posted on by Pablo Diaz

Stepping into a new phase of life requires a lot of trust in God. Everything is new, and change is constant.

My wife, Elba, and I are in the middle of our transition from New York to Florida, leaving long-time jobs and relationships and starting over. As with all change, there are gains and losses, but prayer is helping us get through all of it.

We miss family, friends and co-workers although with technology we can remain connected. But we can’t touch or enjoy a meal with them. It helps to remember that you never have to be alone. Wherever you go, there are people. It’s just that everyone you meet is new! That can be a wonderful opportunity if you trust you’ll make new friends.

A few days after arriving in Florida, I had to go to Atlanta for a business trip. On my return home from the airport, I took an Uber. The driver, John, and I got into a conversation. It turns out that John lives in our apartment complex. He noted that he has picked up thousands of people over the years but rarely someone who lives in his complex.

I shared about my moving to Florida after a call to be the interim pastor of the Presbyterian congregation at Dunedin. John offered valuable information about my new home—hospitals, doctors, dentist, restaurants, beaches, traffic patterns and more. We connected in the most unexpected way. God knew what I needed.

Change is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to navigate uncharted waters. Letting go of what we know and opening ourselves to what might be is challenging even when we seek change.

Trust in God during this process includes letting go of what we think we know and allowing a space for curiosity and openness. This spirit allows us to step into a new community, church or workplace with faith and a positive attitude that we will meet and develop new friendships and enjoy all that change has to offer.

How to Help a Teen or Young Adult Struggling with Addiction

Posted on by Brett Leveridge

Hi, my name is Ross Hauser. I am an operations consultant at Alpha 180, which is a sober living and counseling center located in Austin, Texas.

Although I struggled with addiction from a very young age, the fact that I was able to seek help and overcome that has lead me to the opportunities that I have today, chiefly being that I’m able to help other people who have my same problems, who are struggling with addiction and are in desperate need of help.
There are a lot of reasons that teens and young adults drink to excess. Amongst many, many reasons, especially in young people, is the desire to fit in and the kind of misconception that it will bring you some far off sense of satisfaction or belonging, and at the end of the day, there are always going to be people that will never quite be able to give you the reason for their actions, but yet they will take those harmful actions again and again.

For example, with me I always felt like I needed to quiet my ever-racing mind, you know. I just was uncomfortable with the way that my thought process worked, and I wanted to slow it down, and I just wanted to be able to feel calm and comfortable, and I found out that drinking was one way to do that. I did it again, and again, and again so that I could be comfortable, because I wasn’t comfortable with who I was.

Some of the warning signs that your teen’s drinking has become a problem include isolation. If they’re spending a lot of time either in their rooms behind closed doors, or just out of the house, coming home late, that is a sign that they may be up to something and want to buy themselves some time before they have to be around people.

Also, just a general shift in attitude. A young person is likely to become a bit more defiant as well as closed off if there’s something that they’re hiding, but at the end of the day, the best way to determine where somebody is is to just have open and honest communication and dialogue. Talk about problems. Talk about real things and just try to avoid surface-level conversations.

There are many things that a parent or just any concerned party could do to help a loved one that has a drinking problem. I think that one of the biggest issues when these kind of problems come up is that the concerned party, the parents, are more comfortable denying that their child or their friend may have a problem at all.

First, someone needs to be honest with themselves when they say that there is a problem here that really needs to be addressed, because that keeps so many people from addressing a problem in the first place. They just would like to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Once someone is able to accept that there is a problem here that I need to help somebody with, seeking experienced help is always a great first step, whether it’s Al-Anon meetings, whether it is calling your city’s AA hotline, or just finding someone who has experience helping alcoholics and drug addicts, because it is a very delicate process to get someone who is drinking or using all the time to listen.

In my experience, anyway, it’s always taken a fairly specific set of steps to really get through to that person. It’s important to not smother that person, to not pester them about what they’ve done, because there will be a time to address what they’ve done and ways to fix that, but that’s not in the first day.

The important thing is to let that person know that there’s help available, that you can help them find that, and a little bit of love goes a long way. Letting them know that, “Hey, no matter what has happened, what you’ve been unfortunate enough to go through, I’m here. I’m willing to walk through this process with you and I love you, and this doesn’t affect the way I view you as a person.”

How to Help a Friend Get Through Depression

Posted on by Pablo Diaz

Those who fight depression, or what my friend calls the “battle of the mind,” never chose to be in this place. Unless you have dealt with depression, it’s hard to understand what it means to be unable to carry on with life, work, and family responsibilities. The battle of mind consumes all one’s energy, effort, and strength.

Recently Toby (not his real name) has been sending me text messages or calling me to talk, pray, or just listen. In one of our chats, Toby said, “I can’t even put my socks on.” The simplest task has become insurmountable.

Toby has come through these tough times before. The support and help of his faith, family, friends, medication, and therapist have carried him in his lowest moments. But once again, he is struggling and doesn’t know when he will feel better.

How do I help him as his friend but also as a pastor? I make myself available when he reaches out to me. I listen with compassion and a nonjudgmental attitude as his world is turned upside down. I offer encouraging words and share Scripture to strengthen his faith and cope. I pray with him and for him.

Love is the most important gift we can give someone who is depressed. They must always know that our love doesn’t change or waver no matter how they feel or think in their darkest times. Love them for whom they are—a child of God, loved by God.

When I feel powerless to help someone who is depressed, I lean on God to show me the way. I never lose faith and hope that God will help them, especially through their support system.

I have seen many people like Toby get through depression with prayer and guidance. Serving and helping a friend might make us feel unsure or uncomfortable at times, but it’s worth the effort to care and be present—to offer a light in the darkness.

How to Handle the ‘Shock’ of Good News

Posted on by Holly Lebowitz Rossi

“Good news is rare these days,” said the journalist Hunter S. Thompson, “and every glittering ounce of it should be cherished and hoarded and worshipped and fondled like a priceless diamond.”

Thompson may have been referring to the actual news headlines of his day, but I take his meaning more personally. The past year has brought some really difficult news into my life, from medical diagnoses for people I love to professional disappointments to parenting challenges.

I’ve worked on bouncing back from setbacks and living positively in a new normal, and I’ve grown as a person in the process.

But recently, a beautiful piece of good news came through the door—a medical treatment had proved successful for someone I love very much. And strangely, it took me a moment to be able to take it in, to embrace the sparkle of Thompson’s priceless diamond. I realized that just like when I faced bad news, there was a shock associated with positive news.

Life coach Triffany Hammond writes that the way we handle good news impacts our happiness. Specifically, if we let good news only take the form of relief, the “oh, whew” of the emotional world, we aren’t allowing it to fully permeate our minds and hearts.

She suggests focusing instead on the gratitude that good news inspires, the “oh, thank goodness” feeling that is a well-established way to feel more joy and inner peace.

Hammond also recommends replaying the scene of the good news you’ve just received, visualizing it in detail and taking a moment to bask in all the positive consequences that roll out from its initial delivery. When I visualize the doctor saying, “This was a very good scan,” for example, I can focus gratefully on her team’s medical skill, and anticipate summer ice cream shared with my loved one.

How do you cradle every ounce of a “good news” moment, cherishing it like the precious diamond it is?

How to Give and Get Respect

Posted on by Norman Vincent Peale

One of the deepest desires of human nature is to be well thought of, respected, loved. How do you gain the esteem of others? Jesus tells us the secret in John 13:34: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Here’s how to gain the respect you crave:

Give esteem, respect and love to other people.
In this life we only get back what we give. Give hate to the world and you will receive hate. Cultivate an attitude of superiority and you will be treated with an attitude of superiority. Practice feelings of prejudice and ill will and contempt and that is what you will get back. The whole universe is an echo cavern. What you send out reverberates back to you. That is what Christianity teaches. “A new commandment I give you: Love one another” (John 13:34). That is the smartest, shrewdest, most subtle formula for abundant living that ever was created.

Never let people upset you.
If somebody is rude to you, bothers you, does something unjust to you, you have to be the kind of person who won’t let himself become upset. If you can do this, gradually you will win over the people who have been attacking you, annoying you. You will gain their respect. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is a great thing and, with God’s help, you can do it. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

Put other people’s needs on a par with your own.
This is what Christ meant by loving your neighbor as yourself. Philippians 2:3-4 admonishes us to “in humility consider others” and to look “to the interests of others.”If you do this, amazing pathways of service will open up to you. You may run into opposition. You may be laughed at. But the rewards of meeting a need, of righting a wrong, of improving your world far outweigh the possible risks or hazards.

If we will do our part, God stands ready to do his. But he doesn’t go where he’s not invited. So the last and most important bit of advice I have to offer is three simple words: Ask him in. If you do, you will be blessed. And if you share this blessing with others, you will be loved…and respected.

How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

Posted on by Pablo Diaz

Forgiving others can be hard, especially when we have been hurt, rejected or offended by someone we trust. At a church I served in the past, I recall a member, Sophia, telling me about her personal battle with forgiveness.

When Sophia was young, her father abandoned the family. They faced many hardships, and her anger toward him grew. Eventually, Sophia married and had children of her own, but she still wasn’t able to resolve her abandonment issues and resented her dad even more.

Sophia went on to explain how she joined a six-week Bible study program based on habits, hang-ups and hurts. The program caused her unresolved issues with her father to resurface. During one of the sessions, the facilitator noted that forgiveness releases people from the burden created by others.

He told the group that no one should be held captive by the pain others have caused. Sophia asked herself, “How could I release myself from the pain my dad caused me?” Her father was no longer alive, but the memory of his actions prevented Sophia from moving on.

The thought of forgiving her father challenged Sophia. It would mean she needed to accept what he had done to her and her family—and be okay with it. In one of the class sessions, the facilitator suggested they write a letter to the person who had hurt them. Sophia decided to do it; it was time to let it go.

She wrote about all of the pain and anger her dad had caused. She shared how his rejection and abandonment impacted her life. She finished by writing that she was now ready to forgive him and move on.

After she completed the letter, she read it out loud to an empty chair representing her dad. This was the beginning of her healing process. During the final class, Sophia shared with the group that writing the letter was one of the best things she had ever done. She felt free from her pain and ready to move on.

When we forgive others, it doesn’t mean that we forget what they have done although in some cases, people do. What it does mean is that we are no longer emotionally and spiritually held hostage by their actions. Life is too short; we must learn to forgive. If not by our own power, we can with God’s help.

How to Focus on Your Blessings

Posted on by Pablo Diaz

As humans, we tend to dwell on the hardships, struggles and setbacks we face rather than the everyday blessings. This is why we must pause to reflect on the goodness and blessings of God. Focusing on everyday blessings doesn’t negate our struggles, but it can help us put things into perspective and give us the courage to move forward. When we do this, we discover that our lives consist of more positive moments than negative, more blessings than trials.

Let us begin by taking time to reflect on the blessings of summer. Days are longer, warmer and brighter. We can swim at the beach, take long walks without fighting the cold and much more. It’s a great time to enjoy being outdoors with those we love dearly. Myself, I enjoy playing tennis outside rather than inside. For me, this is a blessing.

We must also stop to reflect on those who are important to us, they are each a blessing in our lives—family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, church family and even those who provide a service to us such as doctors, nurses, police and so forth. Life without them wouldn’t be the same. Humans were created to be social, not to go through life alone.

Most of all, we must remember to be thankful for God’s presence in our lives. No matter what problem we face, we are never alone. He is with us every second of every day.

I encourage you to write a list of everyday blessings in your life. Put it in a place where you can see it each day, to serve as a reminder of all the good in your life. And keep adding to it. When stress, anxiety or sorrow strikes, we have a tendency to focus only on what is causing these emotions rather than the good that is still in our lives.

But if we intentionally pause each day to reflect on our blessings—especially the goodness, mercy, grace and kindness of God—our mood, attitude and perspective will change for the better. Every day with God is a good day.

Lord, thank you for the many blessings in our lives, especially Your presence. Help us to be mindful of them.

How to Find Your Sweet Spot in Life

Posted on by Rachel Linden

My little quilt was ugly. There was no other way to describe it—the lopsided edges, the ungainly stitches, the puckered patchwork. The quilting teacher, who studiously kept her gaze on my homeschool co-op classmates’ more orderly and symmetrical quilts, pursed her lips: “Perhaps you should consider cake decorating next quarter.”

It was not the first should I had encountered. But I was too busy dreaming of a life of adventure and travel to be bothered with perfecting my quilting or baking skills. I didn’t know it then, but those adolescent dreams were the first inklings of what would turn out to be my sweet spot in life.

What is a sweet spot? I define it as that wonderful place, where the things you love meet the needs of the world, and your passions create positive change in your community and the world around you.

Each person’s sweet spot is unique.

A talented crafting friend of mine in Portland makes adorable bespoke baby outfits and donates the proceeds to help sexually exploited women in Europe. My uncle, a gentle giant of a man, is a gifted ukulele teacher and gives free music lessons to prison inmates in California. My sister-in-law uses her skill as a professional photographer to raise awareness and resources for disabled children in Zambia. A computer programmer friend is teaching a homeless young man he met on the subway to code. A local optometrist spends a few weeks a year fitting people for glasses, often the first pair they’ve ever owned, in the poverty-stricken mountain villages of Nicaragua.

Each of these individuals is doing what they love, what they’re gifted at and trained for, and using that to help to the world a better place.

Sweet spots are different for everyone—starting an ethically conscious business, raising funds by doing something you love to help a cause close to your heart—each one is valuable, each one is a gift to the world.

Some know early where our sweet spot is in life, but for most it’s a process of trial and error and gradual discovery. It took me most of my thirties to finally home in on mine—writing fiction and working in international aid. I worked for seven years with a faith-based organization in central Europe, then started writing novels that celebrate the things I love most—travel, food, strong women overcoming big challenges with hope and courage and social justice issues related to women. It took years for me to figure out how to blend the two elements of writing and international work successfully; years of saying no to the “shoulds” and yes to what I truly loved. I had some detours along the way (here’s looking at you, short stint in event planning!) But when I finally found my sweet spot, I experienced deep joy and satisfaction. Getting to do the things I love feels like getting to eat cake all day!

If you’re confident that you know what your sweet spot is in life, and you’re living in it now, then fantastic! If you’re not entirely sure, here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Get rid of the “shoulds” in your life

Stop worrying that what you love isn’t good enough or thinking that it can’t help someone. Any gift, skill or passion can be used in some way to make your community and the world a better place.

2. Make a list of the things you love

Are you passionate about cutting hair, backpacking, making a great batch of kombucha or practicing yoga? If you love it, write it down. If you’re stuck on discerning what you really love, think of the things you played pretend about as a child. I told adventure stories. Then, as soon as I could write, I created little books bound in cardboard from cereal boxes. As I matured, my core interests essentially stayed the same. What do you naturally gravitate toward now? What are the things you would do for free, or just for the sheer joy of them? Those are most likely part of your sweet spot in life.

3. Now start brainstorming

Search online to see who else loves the things you love and what they’re doing to help the world. What clubs, organizations or movements need your skills? How about friends, neighbors and religious organizations in your community? Want to travel further and donate your unique skills in other parts of the world? I guarantee there is someone who needs just what you have to offer! Band together with others, help each other brainstorm and discover.

It is not an easy task. Finding your sweet spot is often a long process, peppered with detours and disappointments, but it is so worthwhile in the end. When each of us finds our unique sweet spot in life, our whole selves, our communities and the entire world, are better for it.

How to Find Your Life’s Purpose

Posted on by Brooke Obie

Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life?

Best-selling author Eckhart Tolle’s advice on how to find your life’s purpose is quite simple: start by knowing who you are.

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Backstage at a recording of Oprah Winfrey’s second installment of her popular speaker series, Super Soul Sessions last week, Tolle said that people must first understand what makes them special.

“The light of God that shines through every human being is their innermost essential identity,” Tolle says. “In that sense, you are special.”

READ MORE: HOW TO GET THE ‘LIFE YOU WANT’

Though humans have a tendency to define themselves comparatively, based on the people around them, Tolle suggests understanding specialness in a way that’s solely between you and God.

“It’s a specialness that honors the uniqueness of you and the way in which you can contribute in your own unique way to this universe.”

Your contribution to the world, he says, is simply a manifestation of your understanding of your connection to God.

“It’s not everyone’s destiny to create something huge,” Tolle says. The key is not the number of people you impact but the way in which you impact them. “There are people who are happy doing little things, who don’t have huge ambitions, but they love what they do. They enjoy every moment of it. That’s a way of being special because everyone who comes into contact with you feels better after coming into contact with you.”

Life coach and author Marie Forleo, another Super Soul Sessions speaker, emphasized this more fluid approach to finding your purpose when she shared her own unique journey from corporate America to coaching millions of people.

“I love what I do but I’m open to things transforming and moving on and having new passions in the future,” she says.

For those still looking for their next step in life, Forleo says:

“I think if you pay attention to that little voice within, it’s always talking and if you can be still enough to hear it and pay attention to your curiosities and what brings you joy and explore what’s really interesting to you, then your whole life will begin to unfold.”

For Tolle, joy is not necessarily something that you find when you’re confident you’re on whatever you deem to be the “right track.” Instead, he says joy is something that can be experienced right now, in every moment and in every stage of life.

“If you haven’t found [your purpose] yet just see if you can transform the little things that you do every day into a joyful task,” he says.

“Even if it seems not terribly meaningful, enjoy the present moment. Don’t treat your present moment as your enemy and also don’t treat it always as a means to an end, just a stepping stone that enables you to arrive at a mentally projected future point that you think is more important than this one. Be open to [enjoying the present] and the way in which you can fulfill your special function in this world will arise.”

Watch part 2 of Super Soul Sessions with Eckhart Tolle and Marie Forleo on OWN or online at SuperSoul.TV.