Page 145 – Guideposts Articles

How to Practice Gratitude When You’re in a Bad Place

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Therese Borchard

There is no shortage of evidence that demonstrates how gratitude is not only good for your physical health, but also makes you more emotionally resilient. Several studies conducted by gratitude researchers like Martin Seligman, Ph.D. at the University of Pennsylvania and Robert Emmons, Ph.D. at the University of California in Davis show that people who keep gratitude journals and do other simple exercises of appreciation are more optimistic and healthier.

But what about those times in your life when you’re debilitated by illness, enmeshed in grief, or just having a hard time being positive about anything? How do you practice gratitude when you’re in a really bad place?

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Self-Compassionate and Gratitude

In his book What Happy People Know, Dan Baker, writes “It is a fact of neurology that the brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time. The two states may alternate, but are mutually exclusive.”

I disagree.

I have found that you absolutely can be in a state of depression or anxiety and still practice gratitude. In fact, that is precisely when gratitude is most helpful. But it can’t be the forced kind of gratitude, where you flog yourself for not feeling the joy you think you ought to feel given your many blessings. It has to be a form of appreciation that is gentle and self-compassionate; one that accepts your present state of mind, while acknowledging what is good in your life.

Don’t Force Gratitude

Most of us have difficulty practicing self-compassion when hit with dark emotions. It can be challenging to approach gratitude organically: to welcome feelings of grief, anger, shame, and regret as houseguests, careful not to let them take up permanent residence.

We need to honor them without engaging too much with them.

A research study at the University of Wisconsin-Madison illuminates why forcing positive thoughts in a depressed state can be like running with a sprained ankle: you could prolong your injury and do more harm than good. High-definition brain scans revealed the more effort a depressed person puts into reframing thoughts, forcing positivity, the more activation there was in the amygdala, regarded by neuroscientists as the brain’s “fear center.”

Instead of lambasting ourselves for not “seeing the glass half full” and a lapse of positivity, we are better off adopting an attitude of curiosity. “I wonder what this emotion has to teach me…” We might also distinguish between an exercise of appreciation and our physiological inability to experience joy. In the midst of a depressive episode, I would often say to myself, “I acknowledge this blessing in my life. While I am presently incapable of experiencing the joy that it brings me, I am still grateful for it, and I am confident that the joy will return one day.”

Mindfulness and Gratitude

In his book Mindfulness for Beginners, scientist and meditation teacher Jon Kabat Zinn, Ph.D. writes, “So much of the time, we can find ourselves in pain in one way or another, suffering in the face of what Zorba the Greek called ‘the full catastrophe’ of life. … But even in such moments, some other dimension of the experience may be available to us.”

During those seasons of my life when I am consumed by sadness or mired in panic, I keep a journal where I list moments during my day where I experience a reprieve from my pain: five or ten minutes here or there where I am able to access peace, joy, and hope. I write down things like being held by my husband as I wake up, my daughter telling me she loves me as I drive her to school, laughing with a friend over coffee. These celebrated moments become the bedrock of a foundation of gratitude that expands father into my day as I recover.

There Is Good Even in the Bad

According to French priest Jacques Philippe, the worst thing that could ever happen to us is for everything to go right. No spiritual growth would happen; we would never learn to lean on God. When we go through trials, it helps us to locate our source of identity in God.

Furthermore, good can be drawn from everything: despair, death, sin, failure, humiliation, separation. God makes use of it all. In his book Interior Freedom, Fr. Philippe writes, “Everything that has happened and happens to you is part of a long and providential project of your Father God. Many things will cause you darkness and suffering, but if you have recourse to your faith, it will be your shield.”

Those two concepts—that there is good even in pain and that everything happens for a reason—are immensely consoling to me and allow me to approach my suffering with gratitude.

In summary: How do you practice gratitude when you’re in a really bad place?

Gently. With a dose of self-compassion, mindfulness, and faith.

How to Make the Most Out of Your Job

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Tom Rath

I work with the Gallup Organization, the group known for its polls and studies on people’s opinions regarding everything from the economy to spirituality.

My research focuses on attitudes toward work. I’ve studied businesses all over the country, and I’ve talked to employees, employers and customers.

I was surprised to discover an estimated 22 million Americans are what I call “actively disengaged” with their work. Meaning they are not only unhappy, they act out on their feelings and undermine their coworkers.

Negative people love nothing more than to take others down with them. Dissatisfied employees cost between $250 billion and $300 billion in lost productivity each year.

That got me wondering: Why don’t companies—and individuals, for that matter—take my grandfather’s approach? My granddad, Don Clifton, taught psychology at the University of Nebraska. Back then, in the 1950s, research centered on what was wrong with people.

A born optimist, Don turned the idea around and decided to concentrate on what’s right with people. Over the next five decades he and his colleagues conducted millions of interviews, looking at the effects of positive interactions in and out of the workplace.

Their conclusion? Positive interactions don’t just make your job easier. They are vital to a healthy and fulfilling work life. Want to make the most of all those hours you spend at work? Here are some tips I learned from my grandfather:

1. Filling is fulfilling. Don had a theory of the Dipper and the Bucket. Each of us, he’d say, has an invisible bucket inside. It is filled or emptied by what people say or do to us. Full? You’ll feel great! Empty? Awful!

You also have an invisible dipper. You can use it to dip from others’ buckets by saying or doing negative things. Or you can fill people’s buckets by saying or doing things that increase positive emotions.

At its most basic, this means giving praise and recognition. A little goes a long way. I learned that early in my Nebraska boyhood. When I was 10, Don suggested I start some kind of business. Good idea. I opened a little snack stand.

Don took note of the smallest accomplishment. “Your first sale? That’s fantastic, Tom!” By the time I was 12, my business employed more than 20 of my classmates. We sold candy, apparel and small merchandise, and got written up in the newspaper. A pretty big deal for a 12-year-old.

But, you know, that article paled in comparison to the stream of encouragement from my grandfather. That’s what really kept me working on making my business a success.

Doesn’t sound so hard to give positive reinforcement, right? Yet 65 percent of people—an astonishing number—claim they received no recognition for good work last year. No wonder they’re disengaged!

Feeling unappreciated is the number-one reason people quit jobs. Even if they do stay on, disengaged employees can have wide-ranging negative effects on a business.

Recently, Gallup studied 4,583 call-center representatives from a major telecommunications company. There were three reps who scared off every single customer they spoke with. Those customers never returned. The company would have been better off paying those employees to stay home.

The study also identified seven reps who retained every single customer they spoke with. Maybe you’ve been lucky enough to talk with a rep like that—one who really listened to what you were saying and took care of the issue promptly.

Chances are you told others about the first-class service and you’re a customer to this day.

All because one employee made the effort to engage you in a positive interaction. That turned out to be good for the customer, the employer and the employee, who not only won points with the boss but also went home with a higher level of job satisfaction. See what a little bucket-filling can do?

2. Best friends. Our studies show that people who have a best friend at work have better safety records, receive higher customer satisfaction scores and improve productivity across the board. Okay, it might be awkward to be buddies with the boss, but how about someone on the same level as you?

Start by listening to your coworkers with unconditionally positive regard. Find out what matters to them and support them. Become known around the workplace for noticing when someone does a good job. The more positive your interactions, the more people will want to be around you.

When I was 16, I worked with my grandfather on a project studying the homeless in Nebraska. Some ended up with jobs, homes and restored lives. Yet others lived on the streets until the bitter end.

What made the difference? Our research showed that having just one strong relationship, just one person who believed in them, was enough to get someone off the streets for good.

Best friends are key to your well-being. If you don’t already have one at work, make one.

3. Got gifts? Every single one of us has our own God-given talents. It says so in the Bible. Things you do instinctively and that give you satisfaction. For instance, you might perform well in a competitive environment, thrive under pressure, pick up on others’ emotions or enjoy puzzles.

If you’re lucky, your job fits your strengths perfectly. But you probably got hired and then were expected to change to fit the job description.

If you struggled, maybe you got sent to some kind of class to “fix the problem.” Or in your end-of-the-year performance reviews, the boss said, “You did okay, but here are five areas where I want to see improvement.”

That’s a weakness-based approach. Why not go at your job from a position of strength—your strengths?

Make a list of five things you do well. Then write down five things you’re expected to do in your job. Compare the lists. See how your talents line up with the company’s expectations. Focus on those areas where there’s a match and ask for assignments that play to your strengths.

Say your talent is being perceptive to others’ needs; why not mentor the new hire in the next cubicle? Or, if organization comes easily to you, volunteer to put together your department’s next presentation. Concentrating on your strengths will help you thrive in the workplace.

4. Learn to take it. A compliment, that is. Once you start to fill buckets, it’s inevitable others will want to fill yours in return. Perhaps on Monday you noticed the receptionist’s new bracelet. Then, on Tuesday, she tells you she likes your tie.

“Oh, this old thing?” you say. “I’m only wearing it because tonight I’m seeing the person who gave it to me.” Right there you’re draining the very bucket you filled just the day before.

When someone goes out of their way to compliment you, that person is in a vulnerable position. Downplaying the compliment is like a slap in the face. Try responding with a simple and gracious “Thanks!” It will put a smile on both your faces.

5. Reverse the Golden Rule. My grandfather was all for doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, but he discovered it works even better to do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

Give what Don called a “drop.” As in a drop in the bucket, or the kind of praise each individual considers most meaningful. One size doesn’t fit all. Some prefer to be praised in front of a group; others, one-on-one. A complimentary e-mail is nice; for some, a good old-fashioned card is better.

Take Susan, a manager at a large insurance company. She wanted to inspire her troops and honor her top reps, especially the number-one guy, Matt. She planned an awards banquet and ordered fancy plaques for the reps. But Matt had already won countless plaques in his career.

Susan noticed that he loved to talk about his two young daughters. So she quietly asked Matt’s wife to take the girls to the best photography studio in town. At the banquet, Susan presented Matt with a beautiful portrait of his daughters. He had to wipe away the tears.

The lesson? Be specific in your praise and honor people in a way that is meaningful to them. “Good job, Tom,” my grandfather would say in my snack-stand days, then follow up with something that told me he was really paying attention, like, “It was smart to list all the condiments you offer for free.”

A mere drop in the bucket, maybe. But isn’t drop by drop how buckets get filled?

How to Make the Most of a Miracle

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Cliff Shiepe

When God gives you a miracle, why would it be taken away?

I had really felt like that: God’s walking miracle. I traveled all over the United States, talking to different groups, telling my story and giving witness to my dramatic turnaround. I wrote a novel, got it published, did book signings. Everywhere I went, people were fascinated by how God had healed me of a mysterious illness. What an amazing thing! A miracle.

Why would that all suddenly come to an end?

Let me take you back two dozen years. Back when I was in my mid-twenties, an illness hit me and hit hard. High fevers, water retention, inflammation, dizziness, nausea, overwhelming fatigue. I was in the midst of launching my career, working for one of the movie studios in Los Angeles, hoping to become a producer someday.

I had to give all that up. Had to quit my job, give up my apartment, retreat to my parents’ house. I holed up in my old bedroom for month after month, the months turning into years.

I went to doctor after doctor, did test after test, tried different treatments, took all kinds of medication. Nothing worked. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with me. Maybe I had an autoimmune disease. Maybe a thyroid condition. Maybe anything.

For seven years, I barely lived, sleeping half the day, gaining weight, hoping against hope that some doctor, some new regimen, would bring me the cure I longed for. My friends were getting married, having babies, getting promotions at work. I was stuck. Going nowhere.

I came to see myself as a bundle of symptoms, a case study for doctors to ponder. I’d always had a strong faith, but what difference did it make now? Jesus had healed all those people in the Bible. Why was I still sick? What was I doing wrong?

I tried to let go of the past, the old me. The hundreds of CDs I’d collected over the years—Hootie & the Blowfish, Dave Matthews, Creedence Clearwater Revival—were packed in boxes in my closet. In a flurry of activity, I took them all to Goodwill. That Cliff was gone. This Cliff was the one who spent days at a time in bed.

One test showed that I was at a dangerously high risk of having a stroke or heart attack. A heart attack? I was barely 30! I used to be in great shape. I managed to drive up to northern California and volunteer part-time with a church youth group for a couple months. But I couldn’t stick with it.

Then after seven years—and some 70 doctors—I was put into a research program at Cedar-Sinai hospital. The physician leading the research proposed something that sounded outrageously simple. Because of the high levels of bacteria in my system, germs that no antibiotic seemed able to kill, he suggested I go on a 10-day fast. Water only. Not even brushing my teeth with toothpaste because it too could feed the bacteria.

The prospect was terrifying. Sure, I’d read about people going on fasts in the Bible, fasts to deepen their faith, but this advice was coming from a doctor. Ten days? That sounded like starvation. But what other choice did I have? I couldn’t bear the life I was living.

Huddled in my bedroom, I drank huge bottles of water, one after another. And waited. And waited. And prayed. No breakfast, lunch or dinner. I felt miserable, the hunger pangs intolerable, my body screaming out for nourishment. After a few days, though, my body adjusted. My metabolism slowed down. I marked the days down in a calendar. Day 10 finally arrived. I could eat again. Or at least drink a bit of fruit juice for starters.

Astoundingly, the fast worked. Such a simple thing, almost a natural thing. It had all the clarity of a miracle. The fevers disappeared. The inflammation stopped. No more water retention. My energy returned. I found a great trainer and worked out every day. I wrote my novel, Cliff Falls, and found myself doing book talks and interviews. The whole thing almost made up for those lost years. I was cured.

Then after 12 years, the symptoms started creeping back: fevers, fatigue, inflammation. Shortness of breath. I tried to ignore them. Told myself it was just a bug, the flu. Something completely normal. I’d go to the gym really early in the morning, then come home and collapse. If I was tired…well, wasn’t it because of the workout?

One day, I was flying back from giving a speech and stopped in Denver to see an old friend, staying in his basement guest room. I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding, unable to breathe. It felt as if the walls of the room were caving in on me. I was going to die.

Somehow I made it to the airport and flew back to L.A. My parents picked me up and drove me home, back to the room I’d been cooped up in for all those years. Back to the misery I thought I’d escaped. What had I done wrong?

Again, days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Again I languished. Instead of boxes of CDs in my closet, I had boxes of Cliff Falls, my big success. I looked at the author photo on the back. Smiling, confident, unafraid. Who was that guy?

I’d turn to my Bible and read a few pages. Nothing clicked. I felt such despair. Was I no longer God’s miracle anymore? How did I let this happen?

One day, I was lying in my bedroom, the TV tuned to some inspirational talk show. I wasn’t paying much attention. Too tired, discouraged. All at once, the guest burst out, “I have nothing more to say to you people. I’ve said enough. Just do what God told you to do.”

Just do what God told you to do. Just trust God. Whether I was sick or not, God hadn’t gone anywhere. His steadfast presence was still with me. It was as if I were being shaken out of my denial. I was blaming myself when I needed to trust and listen to God more than ever.

The fast I’d done was so rigorous, so daunting, but if I’d done it once, I could do it again.

I did, marking the days. After only six days of fasting this time, my energy returned. The inflammation disappeared. The exhaustion was gone. I was back to myself again. No, someone else. The Cliff who understands that miracles are not onetime but living things. That sometimes miracles take perseverance. That God is still at work, even when I can’t see it.

As anyone who has had a chronic illness knows, I have to be vigilant, listening to my body as well as the Lord. I watch my diet, go to the gym and monitor myself for signs of exhaustion or inflammation. I’ll do a fast again if I need to. I have suffered a lot, but I’ve seen how suffering can bring blessings. And I know that by taking care of myself, I am helping take care of the miracle.

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How to Make Sure Your Loved One Has Essentials During the Pandemic

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Julie Hayes

Julie Hayes is the Content Manager at Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging.

The Covid-19 pandemic has required changes in almost every area of life, including daily tasks like shopping for items at grocery and convenience stores. Authorities have recommended social distancing and remaining at home as ways to “flatten the curve” and stay protected. Things that used to be simple now generally mean planning way ahead and taking extra precautions.

If you are a caregiver to an older loved one, or are assuming a larger role as a helper during this time, there is even more to keep in mind. It’s become challenging enough to shop for your own necessary items. Now, with your loved one considered to be in a particularly vulnerable category due to age, keeping him or her safe and well stocked with necessities can be even more time-consuming and stressful. This is especially true if he or she has also recently been diagnosed with Covid-19, and wants to continue on with regular shopping routines nonetheless. But there are good ways to make things more easy.

Food and necessary household items are, of course, vital. So, what are the safest and most manageable ways to access them, with the least risk to yourself, your loved one and other people?

Buying food and household supplies

· Shopping on the internet: A number of grocery stores and supermarkets allow you to order food and essential household items online and have them delivered for curbside pickup or directly to your home. You can also use apps like Instacart and Freshdirect which offer shopping and delivery services, either directly from them or from local retailers, such as grocery stores and pharmacies. Most of these services offer methods of no-contact delivery if you request it. You can place orders to your loved one’s address if he or she does not use the internet, or feel comfortable navigating these services without help.

Remember, though, that there is a high demand for these services at this time, so it may be difficult to arrange same-day delivery. It may be necessary to order several days in advance of when your loved one needs the items so that you can be sure they arrive on time. Another good tip is to preplan weekly meals together to determine what groceries are needed and when. Several services let you add or remove items to a placed order up until a few hours before it is delivered.

· Shopping safely in-person: You may have to shop in a store if you’re unable to track down an urgent item online because of increased demand. If so, you should take appropriate precautions. Many stores request that customers adhere to certain guidelines, such as keeping distance while in line or not touching items you aren’t committed to buying. Most stores have also cut down on the number of customers allowed inside at one time. If the store you are visiting has such rules, it is important to comply.

In order to protect yourself and others, you should also:

· Wear a mask.

· Wipe down the handle of the shopping cart with disinfectant wipes before and after use.

· Use a credit or debit card to make purchases. Doing so helps to limit physical contact with the cashier that would be needed to exchange bills and coins.

· Wear gloves. In order to avoid cross-contamination, make sure not to touch your face, phone or other items when you have them on. When you are done using the gloves, remove them as safely as possible. The Cleveland Clinic recommends the method shown in this video to remove gloves without risking contamination. If the gloves are disposable, throw them away after use. If they are cloth, wash them before you use them again.

· Allow your fellow shoppers to have space. Return to aisles when they are less crowded.

· Shop outside of peak hours, when you can.

After you’ve gotten food home, try not to set the bags down on surfaces where you will later be preparing or eating it. You should wash your hands for at least 20 seconds after unloading. According to the Food and Drug Administration, there is no current evidence to support the virus being transmitted through food packaging, but wiping down packaging and containers with disinfecting products certainly won’t hurt if it gives you peace of mind.

· Senior hours: Whenever possible, try to keep your loved one from going out to a store. If you’re unable to go for him or her, find out whether somebody else can do it.

If it is absolutely necessary for your older loved one to venture out to a store, have a discussion about the above precautions. You should also encourage your loved one to shop within designated senior hours to limit exposure to peak hour shoppers and to ensure better access to items before stocks are depleted.

· Find substitutes for unavailable items: There has been high demand for particular foods and household items. Draw up a shopping list with your loved one, and consider alternatives in case the ingredients you want are out of stock.

If you can’t find a household product at a store, you might be able to locate it online. But be aware that many people are selling in-demand items at unnecessarily high prices. Even though several online platforms are cracking down on this behavior, you should remain cautious.

If a product is especially difficult to locate make it a team effort and ask friends or family members to please buy it if they come across it when they’re shopping. If so, they can leave it at your loved one’s door for him or her to pick up.

How to Make a Turban for a Chemo Patient

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Marjorie Kinney

The turbans that Marjorie Kinney and her fellow Turban Ladies make are simple enough that even a novice sewer can stitch one together in about 30 minutes. They are an encouraging gift for anyone dealing with hair loss following chemo or radiation therapy.

Learn More: Visit Our Trusted Partner, Cancer Treatment Centers of America

Many cancer centers and hospitals accept turbans on behalf of their patients, too. Find out if yours does and get stitchin’!


Cut one piece of knit fabric 24″ x 13″ with the stretch on the 24″ length. Cut one 4″ x 13″ strip from the first piece. This will become the tab for the front of the turban. (See diagram 1) Fold the remaining 20″ x 13″ piece of fabric in half to 10″ x 13″. Machine stitch seam by rounding seam to form a crown, leaving a 1″ opening for inserting tab. (See diagram 2) Form a 2″ hem and stitch in place with zigzag stitch. Use double thread in needle. With even basting stitches (about a quarter inch in length), stitch on both sides of seam from base of hem to where the hole for the tab begins. Secure the thread at the bottom with several knots. Then gather fabric along the basting stitch by pulling on the threads to form the gentle folds of the turban. Secure the threads at the top with several knots. Take the 4″ x 13″ strip and stitch along the 13″ side to create the tab. Turn the hat and tab right side out. Insert the tab through the opening, around the hem. Inside the turban, form tab to hold folds in place. Cut away any excess length of tab before stitching the ends together.

Download these instructions in PDF format.

How to Maintain Your Wellness After the Spouse You’ve Cared for Dies

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Julie Hayes

Julie Hayes is the Content Manager at Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging.

As a caregiver, your overriding concern is to protect the health and well-being of your loved one. Dealing with the fear of losing that person is one of the greatest challenges of the journey. It can be shattering when it actually happens. When that loved one is your spouse, it can be especially tough to process your grief. After all, this is the person you’ve walked through life with, one who is at the core of your very soul.

An old adage maintains that widows often “die of a broken heart” soon after the loss of a spouse. It may seem overblown, but there is truth to the saying. Older adults actually do have an increased risk of dying after the passing of a husband or wife. This is called the Widowhood Effect. According to research, older adults have a 66 percent increased likelihood of dying within the first three months of a spouse’s death.

For older adult caregivers, this phenomenon can be particularly challenging. They are already at risk for poorer health, including increased stress, strain, anxiety and depression compared to older adults who are not caregivers. Grief compounds these factors, further straining an older caregiver’s physical and emotional well-being.

Yet, it’s important to process your grief as you take steps to combat the Widowhood Effect. The juggling act is in working through that frequently very trying grief while still maintaining your wellness.

Self-care after loss

It’s a safe bet that throughout your caregiving journey, you prioritized your spouse’s well-being and often put your own on the back burner. What your loved one needed may have felt more pressing and important, with your own needs serving as a distraction from your focus on caregiving. Maybe you also thought you had to suppress some feelings that were harder to accept—sadness, anger, anxiety—so as not to make your spouse feel bad.

This tendency to put another’s needs above your own can be habit forming, and can be hard to break even after your loved one has passed. Your close friends and family members may also be working through the death of your spouse, and you may feel that it’s not right to bother them. Additionally, your grief may be clouding your ability to even see your own needs, whether that means you’re too tired to cook for yourself or that you’re not feeling well for reasons that may not be directly associated with your loss.

Remember that communication is key to coping. Research suggests that the issue of widows not seeking help is a leading cause of the health decline seen in the Widowhood Effect. These tips may help you to maintain your well-being as you grieve your spouse:

Speak with professionals: Begin by making an appointment with your physician. Following your loss, you may feel like avoiding the doctor’s office, but getting a read on your health is the most important first step. Make sure to be up front about your symptoms, stemming from your caregiving challenges as well as your loss.

If your emotions are making it hard to perform day-to-day tasks, or if you simply need a person to talk to, consider carving out time to see a therapist who can help you process your many feelings. Along with licensed therapists and counselors, many local organizations offer grief support for caregivers, such as Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging’s Behavioral Health Services. Grieving is natural, and it’s important to do it at your own pace. However, grief that keeps you from living your everyday life is harmful and should be treated as soon as possible.

Create a support system with friends and family: A number of your loved ones may be processing this loss alongside you. Consequently, it can be both easy and tricky to communicate with them; easy, because you’re on a parallel path, and tricky because everyone works through grief in his or her own manner. While communicating may be soothing for one person, it may be hard for someone else who simply isn’t ready.

Building a good support system offers a wealth of additional advantages, enabling you and your loved ones to assist one another in whatever ways you truly need. Even though you may need to take time for yourself, try to open yourself up to accepting help in various ways—like sharing recollections, having someone check in on you regularly or getting a hand with chores you find it hard to handle. Give yourself permission to rely on others, and allow them to find solace in being with you, as well.

Establish a wellness routine: Self-care is crucial during this period. It can take a variety of forms. Eating nutritious foods, remaining hydrated, developing a good sleep routine and engaging in favorite hobbies and activities are all relatively basic steps, but can have a major impact on your well-being.

If you’re experiencing a significant and persistent lack of interest in any of the above things, call for help right away as this may be a sign of depression. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services hotline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) can help you seek treatment in your area.

How to Look Forward to a Positive Future in Any Circumstance

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Holly Lebowitz Rossi

We know that optimism is good for us. Good for our mental health, connected to longevity and associated with more positive physically healthy habits.

But during uncertain times like the coronavirus pandemic, it might feel hard to grasp our usual positive outlook. After all, we still don’t know when we can go back to work, to school, to restaurants, to concerts, to birthday parties—to the life we thought of as normal.

So we might ask fretfully: what do we have to look forward to?

I’ve been thinking about this as the weeks of isolation and social distancing unfold. And I have found comfort and uplift by focusing on the simple two-word instruction hidden in that question.

Look forward.

Setting our sights on a positive future is in itself an act of courage and optimism. I would wager everyone reading this has done their fair share of looking ahead and feeling worried, anxious and doubtful. I know I have—and some degree of these challenging emotions are normal and expected during unprecedented times.

But we support ourselves with authentic positivity when we encourage ourselves to balance our thinking, and in this moment, we can do that by looking forward.

Looking forward means taking actions today—planting a seed, starting a journal, watching an instructional video for a new hobby—that will benefit the tomorrow you want to see.

Looking forward means making a decision to let go of something that you realize was not serving your positive life.

Looking forward means daydreaming about gatherings, celebrations, vacations and all the things you want to do—and making lists of first steps you could take to make those dreams come true.

Looking forward means reaching out to someone in your life who you want to deepen your relationship with and starting a conversation.

Whatever the future holds, we can face it together with authentic positivity, courage and unity if we just can remember to hold our heads high and look forward.

How to Live by Faith, Not Fear

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Pablo Diaz

Are you afraid of making decisions, asking your boss for a raise, leaving your secure job to pursue your life’s dream? Whether we are in the beginning of our careers or toward the end, fear has a way of interfering with our choices. The other day, I was purchasing a new pair of glasses when a young sales lady shared that after working the past six years at the same store, she is now leaving to become the communications director for another company.

When telling me this, her facial expression changed from being eager to nervous. She said, “I’m excited and also afraid.” I responded, “What are you afraid of?” She said, “I am afraid of not having enough experience and the unknown.” I offered words of encouragement, reminding her of her education, value and business experience. The young lady paused and said, “You are like a life coach.” We both laughed and continued with the business transaction.

Why is it that we allow fear to get in the way of our dreams, life and even of our faith journey? It’s only natural to feel fear in the midst of change and of the unknown. However, when it stops us from doing and living to our fullest, it’s an issue that we must face. Author Susan Jeffers of the book, Feel the Fear and Do It Any Way, offers good insight in her article “The Five Truths about Fear” that are worth sharing:

Fear Truth #1
The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow! Fear is part of the package.

Fear Truth #2
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and…do it! When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation.

Fear Truth #3
The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and…do it! With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops.

Fear Truth #4
Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else! You are not alone.

Fear Truth #5
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

When we apply the principles shared by Susan Jeffers and believe that God helps us push through our fears, we learn to live by faith and not by fear.

Lord, teach us to take small steps through our fears and to walk in the power of faith.

How to Leave Your Past in the Past

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Bob Hostetler

When Jesus modeled prayer to His early followers, He included the confession of sin and request for forgiveness in the short recipe we call “The Lord’s Prayer.” In doing so, Jesus modeled a daily soul-sweep, one that follows the request for today’s bread with a plea for today’s pardon. It is a kind of clearing of the daily mess we make, a wise preventive measure that keeps us from hoarding sins to our soul’s detriment. It is a daily do-over. A treasure of grace in the single word: forgive.

When Jesus told His followers to pray “Forgive us our sins” in His model prayer, He was prescribing not only a phrase but an attitude—a humble awareness of our need for mercy and grace, and a grateful embrace of forgiveness and soul cleansing.

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Some people, however, struggle to receive God’s forgiveness because they cannot forgive themselves. A friend of mine tearfully confessed that he could never forgive himself for something he had done. I listened and then said something without thinking (I hate it when that happens…and I often wish it would happen less frequently than it does):

“Wow,” I said, “you must have really high standards.”

He blinked at me through his tears. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you believe God can and will and does forgive even the worst sinner, right?”

“Right.” The word came out slowly, as though he suspected a trap.

“But you can’t forgive yourself.”

He nodded. “Right.”

“Which seems to indicate that your standards are higher than those of the holy, righteous God of the universe.”

He blinked some more.

“Which maybe—I’m just spit-balling here—says that either you or your sin is bigger in your mind than God is.”

He shook his head. “No, I—I’m not saying that.”

“But if God says you’re forgiven, and you say what you did is unforgivable…you both can’t be right. So it really sounds like you’re saying you know more than God. Or your standards are higher than God’s. Or maybe you are.”

He didn’t answer but continued to shake his head.

I tried again. “I think the issue is whether you can accept what God says instead of what you think—whether you can believe that God’s mercy and grace are bigger than your sin and guilt, whether you can really trust His promise that if you confess your sins He will forgive your sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.”

It took some more time and discussion, but before we were done talking, his resistance melted away, and he was able to accept God’s forgiveness.

When we pray, “Forgive us,” we can accept the Father’s forgiveness and claim His cleansing work in our hearts. We can leave our past in our past. We can check our baggage and walk away unencumbered. We can experience the blessing expressed by hymn writer Albert Orsborn:

Wash from my hands the dust of earthly striving;
Take from my mind the stress of secret fear;
Cleanse thou the wounds from all but Thee far hidden.
And when the waters flow, let my healing appear.

(Adapted from The Red Letter Prayer Life, by Bob Hostetler)

How to Learn to Enjoy Change

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Pablo Diaz

Stepping into a new phase of life requires a lot of trust in God. Everything is new, and change is constant.

My wife, Elba, and I are in the middle of our transition from New York to Florida, leaving long-time jobs and relationships and starting over. As with all change, there are gains and losses, but prayer is helping us get through all of it.

We miss family, friends and co-workers although with technology we can remain connected. But we can’t touch or enjoy a meal with them. It helps to remember that you never have to be alone. Wherever you go, there are people. It’s just that everyone you meet is new! That can be a wonderful opportunity if you trust you’ll make new friends.

A few days after arriving in Florida, I had to go to Atlanta for a business trip. On my return home from the airport, I took an Uber. The driver, John, and I got into a conversation. It turns out that John lives in our apartment complex. He noted that he has picked up thousands of people over the years but rarely someone who lives in his complex.

I shared about my moving to Florida after a call to be the interim pastor of the Presbyterian congregation at Dunedin. John offered valuable information about my new home—hospitals, doctors, dentist, restaurants, beaches, traffic patterns and more. We connected in the most unexpected way. God knew what I needed.

Change is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to navigate uncharted waters. Letting go of what we know and opening ourselves to what might be is challenging even when we seek change.

Trust in God during this process includes letting go of what we think we know and allowing a space for curiosity and openness. This spirit allows us to step into a new community, church or workplace with faith and a positive attitude that we will meet and develop new friendships and enjoy all that change has to offer.

How to Help a Teen or Young Adult Struggling with Addiction

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Brett Leveridge

Hi, my name is Ross Hauser. I am an operations consultant at Alpha 180, which is a sober living and counseling center located in Austin, Texas.

Although I struggled with addiction from a very young age, the fact that I was able to seek help and overcome that has lead me to the opportunities that I have today, chiefly being that I’m able to help other people who have my same problems, who are struggling with addiction and are in desperate need of help.
There are a lot of reasons that teens and young adults drink to excess. Amongst many, many reasons, especially in young people, is the desire to fit in and the kind of misconception that it will bring you some far off sense of satisfaction or belonging, and at the end of the day, there are always going to be people that will never quite be able to give you the reason for their actions, but yet they will take those harmful actions again and again.

For example, with me I always felt like I needed to quiet my ever-racing mind, you know. I just was uncomfortable with the way that my thought process worked, and I wanted to slow it down, and I just wanted to be able to feel calm and comfortable, and I found out that drinking was one way to do that. I did it again, and again, and again so that I could be comfortable, because I wasn’t comfortable with who I was.

Some of the warning signs that your teen’s drinking has become a problem include isolation. If they’re spending a lot of time either in their rooms behind closed doors, or just out of the house, coming home late, that is a sign that they may be up to something and want to buy themselves some time before they have to be around people.

Also, just a general shift in attitude. A young person is likely to become a bit more defiant as well as closed off if there’s something that they’re hiding, but at the end of the day, the best way to determine where somebody is is to just have open and honest communication and dialogue. Talk about problems. Talk about real things and just try to avoid surface-level conversations.

There are many things that a parent or just any concerned party could do to help a loved one that has a drinking problem. I think that one of the biggest issues when these kind of problems come up is that the concerned party, the parents, are more comfortable denying that their child or their friend may have a problem at all.

First, someone needs to be honest with themselves when they say that there is a problem here that really needs to be addressed, because that keeps so many people from addressing a problem in the first place. They just would like to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Once someone is able to accept that there is a problem here that I need to help somebody with, seeking experienced help is always a great first step, whether it’s Al-Anon meetings, whether it is calling your city’s AA hotline, or just finding someone who has experience helping alcoholics and drug addicts, because it is a very delicate process to get someone who is drinking or using all the time to listen.

In my experience, anyway, it’s always taken a fairly specific set of steps to really get through to that person. It’s important to not smother that person, to not pester them about what they’ve done, because there will be a time to address what they’ve done and ways to fix that, but that’s not in the first day.

The important thing is to let that person know that there’s help available, that you can help them find that, and a little bit of love goes a long way. Letting them know that, “Hey, no matter what has happened, what you’ve been unfortunate enough to go through, I’m here. I’m willing to walk through this process with you and I love you, and this doesn’t affect the way I view you as a person.”

How to Help a Friend Get Through Depression

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by mroberson

Those who fight depression, or what my friend calls the “battle of the mind,” never chose to be in this place. Unless you have dealt with depression, it’s hard to understand what it means to be unable to carry on with life, work, and family responsibilities. The battle of mind consumes all one’s energy, effort, and strength.

Recently Toby (not his real name) has been sending me text messages or calling me to talk, pray, or just listen. In one of our chats, Toby said, “I can’t even put my socks on.” The simplest task has become insurmountable.

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Toby has come through these tough times before. The support and help of his faith, family, friends, medication, and therapist have carried him in his lowest moments. But once again, he is struggling and doesn’t know when he will feel better.

How do I help him as his friend but also as a pastor? I make myself available when he reaches out to me. I listen with compassion and a nonjudgmental attitude as his world is turned upside down. I offer encouraging words and share Scripture to strengthen his faith and cope. I pray with him and for him.

Love is the most important gift we can give someone who is depressed. They must always know that our love doesn’t change or waver no matter how they feel or think in their darkest times. Love them for whom they are—a child of God, loved by God.

When I feel powerless to help someone who is depressed, I lean on God to show me the way. I never lose faith and hope that God will help them, especially through their support system.

I have seen many people like Toby get through depression with prayer and guidance. Serving and helping a friend might make us feel unsure or uncomfortable at times, but it’s worth the effort to care and be present—to offer a light in the darkness.

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