Page 191 – Guideposts Articles

6 Ways to Pray for the Sick

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Rick Hamlin

Silvia Orsulic-Jeras, MA is the SHARE for Dementia Program Manager at Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging.

If you are caring for a loved one who has recently been diagnosed with dementia or a related disorder such as Alzheimer’s disease, it can feel devastating. Often, families avoid talking with their loved one about what the diagnosis could mean. It may feel too scary to talk about. But, if you don’t have these conversations, you may find yourself having to make important decisions about your loved one’s care or other health-related decisions without ever having asked what they would have preferred. This may leave you feeling guilty because you’re not sure if you have done what they would have wanted.

According to research from the Center for Research and Education at Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging, having conversations about future care as early as possible after a dementia diagnosis can be one of the most effective ways to reduce these feelings of guilt and stress. It also helps ensure that your loved one’s wishes are honored.

Ask yourself these 3 questions about the care your loved one may want in the future. The answers can help you plan and prepare to honor their wishes as much as possible.

1. What matters most to your loved one about their care?

To prepare for the future, have an open dialogue with your loved one about what it means to be diagnosed with dementia and about their future care needs.

SHARE for Dementia, an early-stage care-planning program designed by Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging out of decades worth of research, has identified 5 core values for care that most of us find important:

1. Independence

2. Safety

3. Not Being a Burden

4. Activities with Family and Friends

5. Having a Say in Who Helps Out

Does your loved one prefer to do things for themselves without help? Would they prefer to organize their own routines and spend their money how they want? If the answer is yes, that means maintaining independence is one of your loved one’s most important values when it comes to care (Orsulic-Jeras, S., Whitlatch, C. J., Szabo, S. M., Shelton, E. G., & Johnson, J. (2016). “The SHARE program for dementia: Implementation of an early-stage dyadic care-planning intervention” Dementia. Advance online publication).

If you’re not sure what is most important to your loved one, don’t be afraid to ask. Have these discussions as early as possible to make sure you know what they want and that you are making the decisions together rather than on your own.

2. Who does your loved one want to help them?

As dementia progresses, your loved one may need help with tasks they used to be able to handle on their own, like cooking, grocery shopping and managing medications. Eventually, they may need help with more personal activities like taking a shower, getting dressed or using the toilet. It may be difficult for your loved one to accept help with things they used to do independently. However, giving them some control over who helps can make the change a little less distressing. Ask your loved one who they would prefer to help them with certain tasks. Their answers may help you discover someone your loved one feels comfortable with. You may also find people who can take on some responsibilities, so that you are not alone in bearing the burden of care.

3. How much can you handle without help?

If you are the primary caregiver, you may feel as if you are managing every task by yourself. Research shows this overwhelming burden can have negative impacts on caregivers including depression, anxiety and illness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask other family members and friends what they can do to help. There are also organizations within your community that can provide services to you or your family.

Knowing what your loved one wants is one way to support good communication in your relationship and get the information that you will need in the future when making decisions on your loved one’s behalf. For more information on resources to help you plan for dementia care, consider contacting a local community organization, like your local Alzheimer’s Association Chapter or Area Agency on Aging.

6 Ways to Deal with Anger

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Jessica Toomer

I’ll never forget the day Branch Rickey, president of the Brooklyn Dodgers, asked me to join his baseball organization, I would be the first Negro to play in organized baseball—that is, if I were good enough to make the grade.

Mr. Rickey’s office was large and simply furnished. There were four framed pictures on the wall. One was a kodachrome snapshot of Leo Durocher, the field manager of the Dodgers. Another was a portrait of the late Charlie Barrett, one of the greatest scouts in the game. A third was of General Chennault. And the fourth and largest smiled down one me with calm reassurance, the portrait of the sad, trusting Abraham Lincoln who had pleaded for malice toward none…

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This was the never-to-be-forgotten day when our Marines landed on the soil of Japan, August 29, 1945. It was a hot day with venetian blinds shutting out the sun, and the Brooklyn clamor of Montague Street mingled with the noisy traffic around Borough Hall.

From behind his desk the big, powerful, bushy-browed Branch Rickey, who seemed a combination of father and boss, mapped out to me his daring strategy to break the color line in Major League Baseball.

I was excited at the opportunity. It was a tremendous challenge. But was I good enough?

“Mr. Rickey,” I said, “it sounds like a dream come true—not only for me but for my race. For 70 years there has been racial exclusion in Big League Baseball. There will be trouble ahead—for you, for me, for my people and for baseball.”

“Trouble ahead,” Rickey rolled the phrase over his lips as though he liked the sound. “You know, Jackie, I was a small boy when I took my first train ride. On the same train was an old couple, also riding for the first time. We were going through the Rocky Mountains. The old man sitting by the window looked forward and said to his wife, ‘Trouble ahead, Ma! We’re high up over a precipice and we’re gonna run right off.’

“To my boyish ears the noise of the wheels repeated ‘Trouble-a-head-trouble-ahead…’ I never hear train wheels to this day but what I think of this. But our train course bent into a tunnel right after the old man spoke, and we came out on the other side of the mountain. That’s the way it is with most trouble ahead in this world, Jackie—if we use the common sense and courage God gave us. But you’ve got to study the hazards and build wisely.”

I’ve never forgotten that little story. It helped me through many of the rough moments I was to face in the future. I signed my contract that day with a humble feeling of great responsibility. I prayed that I would be equal to the test.

“God is with us in this, Jackie,” Mr. Rickey said quietly. “You know your Bible. It’s good, simple Christianity for us to face realities and to recognize what we’re up against. We can’t go out and preach and crusade and bust our heads against a wall. We’ve got to fight out our problems together with tact and common sense.”

To give me experience and seasoning, Mr. Rickey sent me the first year to play with the Montreal Royals, a farm club for the Brooklyn organization. I was the cause of trouble from the start—but we expected it. Pre-season exhibition games were cancelled because of “mixed athletes”, although the official reason was always different.

Some of my teammates may have resented me. If so, I didn’t blame them. They had problems enough playing ball without being a part of a racial issue. I tried hard not to develop “rabbit ears”, a malady picked up by all athletes who are sensitive to abuse and criticism shouted from the fans.

One of my top thrills was my opening game for Montreal at Jersey City. The pressure was on and I was very nervous. But during that contest I slapped out four hits, including a home run. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better start.

But as the season began to unroll game after game, my play grew erratic. I was trying too hard. I knew I had to keep my temper bridled at every turn. Guarding so carefully against outbursts can put a damper on one’s competitive spirit.

Every athlete at some time or other likes “to blow his top.” It seldom does any harm and acts like a safety valve. A hitter in a slump may drive the ball deep to the infield, then leg it to first sure that he has beaten the throw. The umpire calls him out. With this the frustrated athlete jerks off his cap, slams it on the ground and thunders all his pent-up irritations at the umpire.

The crowd roars its approval or dislike depending on whether the player is on the home or visiting team. The umpire merely turns his back, and the ball player after giving vent to his unhappiness, trots back to the bench feeling much better. It’s all a part of the game.

But I didn’t dare let loose this way. Many would have dubbed me a “hothead” and point to my outburst as a reason why Negroes should not play in organized baseball. This was one of the hardest problems I had to face.

As the season rolled along, however, the players became accustomed to me. My play improved. When the season ended, Montreal had won the Junior World Series. I admit proudly to winning the batting championship of the league with an average .349.

On April 10, 1947, Branch Rickey made the announcement that gave me my greatest thrill. I was to join the Brooklyn Dodgers and become the first Negro to compete in the Major Leagues.

To add to my regular problems of bucking the expected publicity and criticism from the usual quarters, I was placed at a strange position—first base. At Montreal I had played second base.

It was Montreal all over again, only this time the pressure was much greater, the competition keener, and the stakes tremendous. It wasn’t a question so much of a colored athlete making good as a big leaguer, but whether the whole racial question would be advanced or retarded.

I prayed as I never had before.

As a first baseman I had many fielding shortcomings. I worked hard to iron them out and both fans and players by and large were rooting for me. This encouragement was a big factor in helping me improve my game.

Again I faced the same problems. An opposing player drove a hard grounder to the infield. When he crossed first base his spikes bit painfully into my foot. Accident or deliberate? Who can tell? But the first reaction of a competitive ball player is to double up fists and lash out. I saw a blinding red. It took every bit of my discipline to bridle my temper. But when my teammates rushed to my support in white hot anger, it gave me the warmest feeling I’ve ever felt. At that moment I belonged.

That year the Dodgers won the pennant. I was thrilled to know that my efforts were considered an important factor in winning. But I also cherished another triumph. Baseball as a whole had come to accept the Negro. From now on the colored ball player, to make the grade, will simply have to be a good enough player. As Mr. Rickey says, a champion is a champion in America, black or white.

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6 Ways to Cope with Caregiver Anger

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by The Editors

Asked how they feel, many family caregivers mention their stress and sadness—but not the resentment, impatience and anger that can build up. Caregivers tend to do what Caroline Conklin did: hide the feelings they think are negative. The fact is, most caregivers experience a wide range of emotions, all of which are valid and natural.

Burying emotions takes a toll on your mental and physical well-being. Research by Home Instead Senior Care shows that caregivers who hide their feelings are more likely to experience fatigue, high blood pressure, difficulty sleeping and depression. Here are some tips for coping with caregiver anger:

Forgive yourself. Who hasn’t lost their temper and snapped at their loved one at some point during the caregiving journey? Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself credit for all the times you showed great patience and for the many hours of loving care you provide.

Get something to eat. If you’ve been around kids, you know meltdowns tend to happen when a child is hungry. Low blood sugar levels can impair your ability to cope with caregiving stress. To help avoid meltdowns on your part—or your loved one’s—when you’re caring for a senior family member, have a healthy snack together.

Talk it out. Vent to someone outside your family: a pastor, therapist or nonjudgmental friend. Join a local or online caregiver support group.

Let it go. Physically releasing your anger can be therapeutic. Excuse yourself and go scream into a pillow. Or punch the pillow. A strategy for the long term: Get more exercise. Physical activity is a well-known stress reducer and mood booster.

Seek solace in your spirituality. Take your troubles to God. Prayer and meditation are great coping mechanisms. Read the Bible or something else you find restorative and inspiring.

Take time off. You can’t draw water from an empty well. Anger and impatience often stem from exhaustion. To replenish your energy, do something you enjoy every day. Even 15 minutes here and there will make a difference. Better yet, set up regular respite care. Ask family, friends or volunteers from your faith community to fill in for you a few hours every week. If you’re considering professional respite care, contact Home Instead Senior Care at (866) 996-1085 or homeinstead.com/guideposts for a free consultation.

For more tips on managing the emotions of caregiving, visit caregiverstress.com.

6 Ways to Calm Down During a Panic Attack

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by April Holloway

My first panic attack was just an odd, persistent feeling of not being able to catch my breath. The shortness of breath in my lungs was uncomfortable and frightening but I had no idea what I was suffering from until my coworker pointed it out to me.

“Are you okay?” She asked me, knowing I was reeling from a recent break-up. “I’m having a hard time catching my breath,” I told her. I had spent the night before and the greater part of that morning trying to quell the uneasiness in my stomach and to take one full, deep breath. I couldn’t do. My co-worker stood in my office doorway taking stock of my appearance and rapid breathing until she announced, “You’re having a panic attack”.

It seemed odd. I had never had this kind of reaction to pain, rejection, anger or sadness before. But this was only the beginning. I had no idea how debilitating my panic attacks would become. Sometimes work or personal stress would bring them on but other times they’d happen for no reason at all.

Often they’re paralyzing, sometimes nauseating, and always unwelcome. However, by trial and error, I have managed to find some ways to cope with this uninvited guest. Here are 6 ways that I deal with my panic attacks:

1) Count to slow your breathing

While having a panic attack, it can feel impossible to catch your breath. However, there are things in my environment I use to help me. For example, if music is playing, I isolate one instrument or use the rhythm of the song to focus my breathing. If I have children with me, and I need to divert them from the fact that I am having a panic attack, I ask them to count with me. Count the leaves, count the trees, cars–anything around me to help slow down my breathing.

2) Visit Online Support Groups
Yes, chat rooms still exist! There are chat rooms and groups on Facebook for people who have panic attacks to share relaxation methods and affirmations—many of which I use during bouts with general anxiety and attacks. Of course, this is only useful when I am having a panic attack that doesn’t completely disable me. Finding these spaces before I have an attack helped me to see how they work and determine whether they’d be helpful during an attack.

3) Phone A Friend
I have friends and family members that know I am prone to panic attacks, and I ask them for help. I didn’t know this could be so effective until I called my sister during an attack and, between gulps of oxygen that I couldn’t keep down, whispered, “Panic attack…can’t breathe…” At this point, she just started counting slowly up to 5 and down from 5. Every time she could hear me not in step with her count, she softly offered encouragement. This was quite relaxing for me. Talking to someone who understands your panic attacks and knows what works can be a great comfort, so I share my plan to combat panic attacks with a trusted loved one.

4) Break Down Your To-Do List into Manageable Tasks
Again, this will only work if I’m not completely incapacitated. If I am able to write, and am feeling a panic attack coming on as I think about all that I need to do, I try breaking up my to-do list into smaller, manageable tasks. Instead of “clean the house,” I may just write, “wash the dishes and sweep the floor,” leaving other tasks for another day. I cross tasks off my list when I’m finished and celebrate each small accomplishment to relax.

5) Focus on Each Body Part
Wiggle your big toe. Flex your feet. Bend your knees. Swivel your hips. Draw circles with your fingers. Roll your shoulders. Move your tongue across the roof of your mouth. Slowly shake your head from side to side. I start from the bottom or top of my body and focus on the movements that each part can make. Sometimes, I include the internal organs or just focus on the muscles. I acknowledge each tiny process and divert my thoughts until I can calm my breathing.

6) Recite a Psalm or Poem

In the middle of an attack, it helps me to recite the sermon the character Baby Suggs gives in Toni Morrison’s Pulitzer Prize-winning book, Beloved. “Hear me now,” she says. “Love your heart. For this is the prize.” Sometimes, I recite affirmations from the Psalms or a favorite Bible verse. I alternate between two or more things. If one thing doesn’t work for me the first time, I switch it up with different passages and verses or I give it a try in different positions, like sitting, standing and laying down.

6 Ways Seniors Can Interact With Pets Without Committing to Ownership

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by The Editors

Edwina Perkins, Donna deNobriga Winningham and Monica Morris found that their family pets brought their senior loved ones comfort, companionship and joy. Research on the websites of the Human Animal Bond Research Institute and the therapy animal organization Pet Partners supports that spending time with animals gives older adults a physical, emotional and mental boost—reducing depression and pain, enhancing mobility and decreasing dementia-related agitation.

In a survey conducted by Home Instead, Inc., franchisor of the Home Instead Senior Care network, people 65 and older who regularly interacted with a pet—their own or someone else’s—scored highest on happiness scales and lowest on loneliness scales. Here’s how seniors can enjoy the benefits of pet interaction without the responsibility of ownership:

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Hang out at the dog park. You don’t have to own a dog to socialize there. Just introduce yourself to the people and their furry friends.

Visit a cat or dog café. These cafés, where people can cuddle and play with pets looking for a home, are springing up in many large cities.

Foster a pet. Need a short-term animal fix? Try fostering. Pet rescue organizations rely on fosters to provide a temporary home for animals until they are adopted. If you live near a military base, you can offer to care for a pet while its owner is deployed.

Volunteer at an animal group or shelter. Help give pets waiting for homes the feeding, walking and socializing they need. Getting the animals used to people improves their chances of getting adopted.

Get to know your neighbors’ pets. If you see neighbors walking their dogs, why not ask to join them? It’s a good way to get better acquainted with pets and their owners. Once you know them well, you might even be asked to pet-sit.

Connect with a therapy animal. Reach out to a therapy animal group. “Animals alleviate loneliness. Even a weekly half-hour visit can make a difference,” says Elisabeth Van Every, communications and outreach coordinator for Pet Partners. Its therapy teams, made up of a pet owner and the registered animal, offer one-on-one interaction for seniors in hospitals, hospices and other settings. Care community residents can sign up to take a walk with a therapy animal and its handler through Pet Partners’ Walk With Me program. Visit petpartners.org for more information.

To learn more about the connection between seniors and pets, go to petsandseniors.com.

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6 Ways Caregivers Can Find Emotional Support

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Most family caregivers feel tremendous amount of responsibility. They are constantly on edge—and on call—in service to a loved one’s need. It is often hard to admit they feel burdened, opting instead to put their own emotional health on the back burner. This can lead to caregiver stress and imbalance.

It happened to me in the years I was caring for my mother. Here are some of the things I found valuable in coping with caregiver stress.

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1. Have a venting buddy. My best friend was also going through a caregiving crisis with her mom and we supported each other in the worst moments. When you are scared about a loved one’s health―or angry about how drained you feel from caregiving―you need someone to share your real feelings with. Whether this is an old friend who knows your family, or a new friend with whom you share a caregiving bond, give each other the gift of listening without judgment or trying to fix your problems.

2. Join or create a support group. Caregiver support groups are cropping up around the country. Search for local groups related to the issues your loved is facing (disabilities, cancer, aging, etc.) and check with local hospitals and houses of worship, as well caregiving organization websites. If you can’t find a group locally, consider organizing one. Whether caring for an elderly relative, an addicted love one special-needs child or a sick spouse, caregiving has many universal components―such as self-sacrifice and hard work―and caregivers often bond quickly.

3. Find a caregiver community online. Many caregivers can’t get away from their responsibilities for too long. My life changed the day I found a Facebook group. I was sitting in the ER with my mother, stressed to the max, when I came across this group. Filled with compassionate and sympathetic people, who can relate to any caregiving or family issue, it became my lifeline. Seeing the stories of others made me realize I was not alone. Having people leave positive comments on my posts was very empowering. Also, I discovered my experience as a caregiver was helpful to others. Many people facing a family caregiving crisis find solace and coping ideas in online groups.

4. Consider therapy. There may come a time when all the little things you do to relieve stress are not enough. There is nothing wrong about needing a different level of emotional support. I found myself getting very sad and depressed, so I looked for a therapist trained in dealing with a person in the midst of a caregiving crisis. It helped me through the darkest days. Having a therapist to talk to honestly is not just cathartic but it helps you gain new coping skills.

5. Seek a spiritual group or prayer group. Gathering people together to bear witness to each other’s stories and offer supportive ideas is helpful. And in the context of a spiritual group, it can help you address human emotions while also connecting to God. This can assist you in coming to terms with the difficult situations you are facing.

6. Reach out to a chaplain. Having the support of someone trained in pastoral counseling can be invaluable. Most hospitals and hospice programs have compassionate and nonjudgmental clergy to help you navigate the crisis―and perhaps rise above it enough spiritually to get some perspective. When my mom went into hospice, the chaplain there visited her, but I was the one who found it helpful to chat with him. He helped me see that what I was feeling was normal and how holding in bottled-up emotions could result in stress-related ailments. Part of my stress was the simple fact that that no matter how much I did for my mom, her life would end. “You are giving your mother the best end of life possible,” he said. “And that is a gift for you both.” His input at that moment helped change my attitude. He also gave me an opportunity to cry. For that I am eternally grateful.

6 Tips to Visualize Your Dreams Coming True

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Mitch Horowitz

My mother grew up in the tenements of the Bronx in New York City and was the first in her family to go to college. One of the requirements she faced was having to take a course in public speaking. She was petrified. “I had never spoken publicly before,” she told me, “and I had no idea how to do it.”

She woke up with a stomachache at the mere thought of it. Fortunately her teacher gave her three crucial tips: write key points on note cards, practice before a mirror and visualize speaking before the class. See and hear yourself confidently delivering your talk.

It worked. “For the first time in my life,” Mom recalled, “I was able to speak in public, something no one in my family had ever done before.” It was a breakthrough, and the practice of visualization cracked open the door.

In his book Positive Imaging, Norman Vincent Peale writes that visualization “consists of vividly picturing, in your conscious mind, a desired goal or objective, and holding that image until it sinks into your unconscious mind, where it releases great, untapped energies.”

For more than 20 years, I’ve researched and written about the power of the mind to fulfill our dreams. I’ve explored how visualization works and just how effective it can be. My most recent book, The Miracle Club, takes up this topic. What I’ve discovered is that visualizing for positive change is easier and often more powerful than we realize. Here is how it works.

Keep it real. Visualize something that’s achievable. At age 53, I’m not going to be recruited to do space walks for NASA. Think of at least two or three things that you can do right now that will move you forward. Remember it’s not about daydreams or fantasies but attainable concrete goals.

If you dream of one day starting a dog-grooming business, have you got the skills? What are the next steps to get them? Let’s say you want to go to med school. Are you taking the right courses in biology and chemistry? See to the things you can do. Authentic dreams are actionable.

Feel it first. Visualizing and believing in your ability to do something may be the only ways to make it happen. Without the courage to make that leap of faith, no success can occur. Hence the first part of visualization is to feel the confidence that you are up to the task.

Not long ago, a woman wrote me about the challenges she had maintaining a mental picture of her desired goal. “I can picture a scene in my mind, but sometimes the corresponding emotion isn’t there,” she wrote. “And that’s when the fear of not ever having changes in my life grips me. Any suggestions?”

I went back to something I’ve learned from a favorite positive-mind teacher of mine, Neville Goddard: Visualize yourself in a small, satisfying scene that implies the achievement of your aim. Bask in the emotions of your accomplishment. Replay this scene in your mind for as long as it feels natural. Don’t do it as if you’re watching yourself on the screen. Put yourself right in the middle of the action.

For example, if you’re looking to be promoted at work, picture your boss shaking your hand, maybe showing you to your new office. Take in the sense of achievement and feel it. The simpler the scene, the better. It makes it easier to return to and focus on.

Take a break if necessary. Let’s face it: Sometimes we’re just too exhausted or not up to focusing on an imagined scene. Use the visualization method when your emotions are in a positive state, when you’re joyous or at least content. Don’t struggle with it when you’re anxious or tired. If that means stepping away for a few hours or a few days, fine. You can always come back to it.

Pitting our minds against our moods is like pitting steam power against nuclear power. The emotions win every time. It’s better to use your emotions, rather than try to counter them. Let your mood match what you visualize.

Try it at night. Sometimes the best time of day to visualize is during the very relaxed moments just before you drift off to sleep. Researchers call this the hypnagogic state, prime time for visualizations or affirmations. At that hour, you are in a very supple, suggestible frame of mind. You can experience persuasive, dreamlike imagery while also retaining control over your thoughts and their direction. Use it to make new impressions on your subconscious mind.

The pioneering French psychologist Émile Coué suggested using this time of night to recite the phrase, “Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better,” but you can devise whatever prayer or affirmation you want. Picture and feel a desired scene, such as getting a diploma and seeing it framed on a wall. Then drift off to sleep.

You can repeat the procedure as you’re waking in the morning, still in the hypnagogic state. What we think about and picture during those moments between sleep and consciousness can be very persuasive. A great way to start your day is by visualizing your day.

Be clear. A scientist friend of mine needed help using new software to sift through mounds of data for an experiment. He kept thinking he needed a research grant in order to hire a programmer. “Don’t think about the grant,” an assistant told him. “Think about the very thing you need. Visualize that.”

He did exactly that. Days later a visiting scientist toured his lab—and offered to help him with his work. For free! The scientist was not only academically qualified but the one who’d actually written the program my friend needed.

That was just one of many synchronicities he’s experienced, all of which came about when he was crystal clear about what he wanted and visualized it. “After gaining clarity,” he said, “it generally takes a few days to a few weeks for the vision to manifest itself.”

Hang in there. Sometimes people tell me that they’ve tried visualization yet nothing has occurred. I remind them that things can take time. Events can loop together in surprising ways if you wait and trust.

Some psychologists theorize that visualizing a physical act engages the muscles involved, which results in body memory. Champion golfer Tiger Woods’s mental preparation is legendary. His father taught him the technique of visualization when he was a kid. But instead of actually picturing the shot and where he wants it to go, he feels it in his hands and his body, trusting that it will go to just the right spot. As it often does.

Many golfers say that visualizing the right swing and mentally seeing the ball travel not only connects muscle to mind but also helps block distractions, including the occasional heckler. Anything to improve their mental edge.

We’re not all Tiger Woods, but God has given all of us dreams to pursue and the gifts to make them come true. Consider what you do best, focus on a goal, then visualize and see what happens. As Norman Vincent Peale said years ago, “great, untapped energies” are just waiting to be released.

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6 Tips to Make Your Home a Haven

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Daisy Urgiles

Often, we forget how important it is to create a home where we feel comfortable and safe. But as Covid-19 continues to spread throughout the world, and people are being asked to stay home to reduce the spread of the virus, it’s becoming even more necessary to create a space that’s cozy, relaxing and a refuge, in every sense of the word. Here are a few, quick tips to help upgrade your home.

6 Tips to Help Someone Grieving During The Holidays

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Kate J. Meyer, M.Div

The holiday season can be fraught for people who are grieving, whether it’s their first Christmas without a loved one or the tenth. Any movie, song, decoration and tradition is a potential trigger. It can be a time of extreme loneliness—when the comfort of a friend or family member is needed most.

But what to say to someone who’s grieving? How can we truly be a help? The fear of doing the wrong thing can be paralyzing. So we don’t call or visit, then feel guilty. I’m a chaplain and grief counselor with decades of experience, and I’ve worked in both hospice and healthcare settings. I’ve found there are specific, concrete ways to support someone who is grieving during this or any season.

Offer a safe place

I met with Janeen in the week between Christmas and the New Year to talk about her first family Christmas without her sister and to help her work through how to tell her parents what she wanted to do on New Year’s Eve. A high school senior, Janeen still wanted to go to a party that she and her friends had planned. Again and again, she talked about her appreciation for one family member who didn’t judge her for taking time alone or make her feel guilty if she laughed.

“I just want to be able to feel what I’m feeling,” Janeen told me. “Being sad, having fun, needing space, crying. All of it. I can’t fit into someone else’s box.

”Perhaps more than any other time of year, the winter holidays come with expectations. At each social outing, family meal, even church service, those grieving are met with pressure to appear a certain way—to perform, in a sense. It can be draining.

Everyone experiences grief differently, as Janeen showed. A person who’s grieving can hold opposing emotions: joy and sadness, anger and peace, hope and despondency. Make a conscious choice to offer a safe place for the griever to feel and experience the holiday however it presents.

Say their name

“Thank you for saying his name,” Justin’s mom told me. “Outside of our immediate family, you’re one of the only people who does.” It had been a few years since her son’s death in a tragic accident. In her interactions with close friends and even relatives, it was as if he’d been erased, as if he’d never existed.

It can feel uncomfortable to speak the name of someone who has died, but it sends a message to the griever that you recognize the impact the loss of their loved one’s physical presence continues to have. There’s a fear of not wanting to remind the person of their loss or add to their grief—but your friend hasn’t forgotten. Avoiding speaking of someone who’s died creates a second kind of loss.

Phrases such as “Jack would have found this hilarious” or “Susan would be so frustrated that this is happening” reassure the griever that their loved one’s life had meaning and influence that live on. Sharing your own stories or memories of the person who died gives the griever additional appreciation of their loved one. It also aids in your own grief process. Don’t forget that even though your loss may not be as direct, you are grieving too. When no other words will come, say their name. It’s one of the best ways to show you care.

Be specific and consistent

From the moment the woman sat down with me, frustration was etched across her face. “No one’s calling any-more,” she told me. “The people who used to ask if I wanted to go out with them to lunch have just gone silent. I think it’s because I told them no too many times.”

I hear this often. People who are grieving have a limited amount of energy to give each day. There will be times when an invitation that requires social and emotional interaction is simply too much for them. But they’re not saying they will never be interested. Assure them you understand and will call again. Then make sure to do so. And keep calling whenever the griever comes to mind—even if they decline a second, third or eighth time. You don’t know when they might feel ready for a visit or going out. They won’t think to call you. It’s not a slight. The way the brain functions in grief, grievers won’t remember who offered what when. Do them a favor and take off the pressure of being the one to reach out.

When you do call, be specific. Whether you’re offering to clean the house once a week, pick up groceries, go to a movie or on a walk, be clear about the date and duration of the activity. A vague “let me know if you need anything” is not helpful. It’s overwhelming. Offer what is in your capacity to deliver. Just making the call reassures the griever they’re not forgotten.

Ask what they need today

I was dealing with the unexpected loss of a friend, and as other friends reached out, my mind began to see patterns. Some people would ask open-ended questions designed to help me process what I was feeling. They were coming from a place of love and empathy. Others would ask first what I wanted to talk about, giving me a choice. Both approaches are appreciated, yet the second was what I needed most in the depths of my grief.

You will serve the grievers in your life well if you begin the conversation with something like “Do you want to talk about Joe today? Or do you want a distraction—or just quiet?” Trust whatever response they give. If distraction is chosen, it’s not a sign that you’re a bad listener. You might be the only person giving them a choice or the space to pretend, if only for a couple of hours, that their life hasn’t been irrevocably changed, and that choice is a gift.

It’s not about you

Though this might seem obvious, in our eagerness to help, it’s often forgotten. Do not volunteer what helped you in your grief. Do not come armed with your favorite Bible verses, the message your minister preached or a book that comforted you. The effort is well intentioned, but what the griever receives is a story about you, rather than a focus on them. Do not say you know what they are going through. You don’t. If you are close to the griever, they know your experience and might eventually ask, “How did you deal with this?” When that day comes, share your experiences, but until then allow the griever to lead.

Even when you’re asked, resist the temptation to tell them what they should do. Suggest rather than direct. Be clear that this is what worked for you and that their journey may be different. Everyone processes grief in their own time frame.

Likewise, when you’re helping a person who’s grieving, the only spiritual beliefs that matter are theirs. It’s not the time to preach about your faith. Allow the space to ask questions, to express doubts, to voice anger or apathy. Grief can lead to spiritual evolution and growth. Let God work. Your role is to be a friend.

Embrace silence

Early in my career, I worked as a healthcare chaplain, which gave me the opportunity to walk daily alongside people experiencing a wide range of grief. I quickly learned there were situations that my seminary training hadn’t quite prepared me for.

One day, I went to the room of a woman who’d just lost her newborn. After baptizing the child as she requested, I added, “God is big enough to take any and all of your emotions.” I was proud of how I’d summoned those words of comfort.

Until the woman responded, “If God is big enough for any of my emotions, why isn’t God big enough to save my child?” Nearly 20 years later, I don’t know how I fumbled through the rest of our conversation, but I fully remember the feeling as I left the room. My words had tainted that moment and focused her mind on more pain, rather than the comfort and hope she found in baptism.

The best possible way I could have served her in that moment would have been to baptize her child and then simply hold witness. She didn’t need my attempts at explanations. She didn’t need a theological perspective. What she needed was for her child’s life and death to be recognized, her pain to be seen and to be given space to just be in her newly broken world.

Holding silence in a manner that gives witness to someone else’s experience, without judgment or interruption of any kind, has a healing power all its own. When you find yourself wanting to fill the silence, ask yourself if the comment truly benefits the receiver, if the time is right and if what you want to say might cause more harm. Let those answers guide you. Sometimes simply sitting with someone in their pain brings more validation, comfort and relief than any words can.

Really, everything about how best to help someone who’s lost a loved one comes back to this foundation you can lean on in moments of doubt: Start with the griever, and let them lead. The rest will follow.

6 Tips for Staying Safe Online

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Ashley Lateef

Content provided by Good Samaritan Society.

Your great-uncle got a voice-controlled device for Christmas. Now he can play music, control his smart home, get information and — his favorite — get the latest weather forecast, all with a simple voice command.

Whistle Stop Cafe In Article Ad May 2023

And it’s not just your great-uncle embracing internet technology. It’s his entire generation. According to the Pew Research Center, more than 66 percent of people over age 65 are online. In the 50-64 range, it goes up to 87 percent. In other words, just about everyone you know is online.

This begs the question: With all of his newfound power, how do you help keep him safe online?

Here are six things to keep in mind while browsing the internet:

1. When Something Seems Too Good to Be True, It Usually Is

This age-old maxim definitely applies to the internet. Don’t be reeled in by promises of big bucks, free tropical vacations or work-from-home scams. Usually these look great at first glance, but are almost always a situation where scammers are “phishing” for your sensitive information.

2. Always Update Your Device When Prompted

Most internet devices, even your desktop computer, will need to periodically install updates. The purpose of these updates is usually to ensure the most current security features are available to you. The minor inconvenience this causes is well worth the protection it affords.

3. Regularly Change Your Password

This might seem obvious, but it is good to remember. Also, it’s a best practice to use varying passwords for your many different logins.

4. Watch Out for Friend Requests on Social Media Sites

Con artists will befriend you, claim they know you or impersonate someone you do know in an attempt to collect personal information. If someone requests personal information on a social media or dating site, do not trust them.

5. Be Wary of Email Scams

Scammers are clever when it comes to capturing your credit card info, bank PIN numbers or even your Social Security number. They can make an email appear to have come from a legitimate company that you regularly do business with. Just because it has your bank logo on it does not mean it’s safe. If in doubt, report it and then delete.

6. Do Not Be Afraid to Report

It’s perfectly OK to make a report when something doesn’t seem right online. Both AARP and the FBI have set up systems to make it easy to report online crimes and potential online crimes.

AARP has a toll-free fraud hotline: (800) 222-4444. You can file an online complaint with the FBI here: https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx.

With these tips, and a little common sense, there is no reason to think you’ll have a problem online. But always be prepared for anything, as new scams pop up all the time.

6 Steps to Live Your Best Life

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Norman Vincent Peale

Want to go from having a “nice day” to having a powerful one? Then follow these six steps…every day!

1. Upon waking each morning, say this statement the very first thing: “This is the day which the Lord has made; we (I) will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

2. Get some vigorous exercise. Run, walk, bike. Get moving.

3. Read a chapter from one of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) and try to visualize Jesus as a friend who is having the experiences described.

4. Before you begin your daily work, repeat the following: “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). Note that the focus is not on a surge of spiritual power, but on the ability to walk, that is, to keep going.

5. At noon, thank Jesus for a good morning. Say, “I am going to have a great afternoon.”

6. When you get into bed each night, thank the Lord for the day, no matter what it held. Put the decisions you made into his hands and leave them there. Repeat this verse from Isaiah 28:12: “This is the resting place, let the weary rest.”

6 Simple Ways to Tap the Healing Power of Gardening

Posted on March 11, 2026March 12, 2026 by Therese Borchard

Science is proving what people with green thumbs have long known to be true: gardening is good for you. The common, often relaxing hobby can reduce levels of pain and stress, improve attention and boost immune systems, according to several published studies. Roger Ulrich, a behavioral scientist and expert on healing gardens, explained, “We have a biologically prepared disposition to respond favorably to nature because we evolved in nature.”

Here are a few tips to tap into the soothing power of gardening in your own life:

1. Be present

Nature has the ability to pull us out of our ruminations and ground us in the present moment. Gardening occupies our left-brain in tasks like planting and fertilizing, while immersing our right brain in the aroma of flowers and the feel of soil. Allow the rhythmic nature of weeding, trimming and sowing to take you to a state of flow, or single-mindedness, that harnesses all emotions into one action and stimulates feel-good endorphins.

2. Connect with other living things

In his book Biophilia, Edward Wilson describes the human fascination with nature as “the urge to affiliate with other forms of life.” Similarly, researchers like Jon Fieldhouse have determined that the plant-person relationship is beneficial because it requires the nurturing dynamic that allows humans to bond without the drama of human emotions. The takeaway? Don’t be afraid to bond with your flowers and plants.

3. Take responsibility

There’s a reason therapeutic gardening is used to teach responsibility and life skills to at-risk youths. At Pacific Quest, a Hawaii camp for troubled teens, students build garden beds, plant the seeds and care for the seedlings, As they care for their creation, the teens are able to translate problem-solving skills and insights into their own lives. You don’t have to be a troubled teenager to use gardening to learn that even a small action, like watering a flower, can make a substantial impact.

4. Vent

Much like life, nature is messy and becomes disorderly and unkempt if uncared for. Its potential for destructiveness is the same force that drives growth and renewal. Gardening is an appropriate place to vent our anger and to use aggressiveness in a positive way. After all, if we don’t tend to the weeds, we risk losing our lettuce or tulips. For a person who has always been afraid of anger, gardening is especially helpful for me to see that asserting some control is an act of love and discipline that leads to new growth.

5. Enjoy the view

In a famous study in the journal Science, Ulrich demonstrated how gazing at a garden can sometimes facilitate healing from surgery, infections and other illnesses. In the study, people recovering from gallbladder surgery with a bedside window looking out on leafy trees healed, on average, a day faster, needed less pain medication and had few postsurgical complications than those who had a view of a brick wall. Pictures of landscapes can also do wonders, as highlighted in another Ulrich study. When his team showed images of water and trees to patients, this group ended up needing fewer doses of pain medicine than patients who looked at dark forest photographs, abstract art or no images at all. If you’re not feeling up to watering or weeding, simply gaze at your garden and reap the healing benefits.

6. Cultivate hope

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important,” said the Little Prince in Saint-Exupéry’s classic The Little Prince. Gardening allows us to experience the transformative power of caring for something. Plants teach us that things never stay the same, and that although growth may be invisible to us, it is still happening all the time. Gardening teaches us patience and the hopeful anticipation of new life. When you plant your next seed, breathe in the hope that your creation represents.