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Prayer and the Pug

Let me begin by introducing you to Mighty Maximus Slattery—better known as Max. Max is not like most dogs. Pointers, for example, point. Retrievers retrieve. Hounds hunt.

These highly talented and useful breeds behave this way because they are all, as my husband Tom likes to say, real dogs. 

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Max is a pug. A roly-poly, fawn-colored pug that excels at sleeping, eating and making us laugh. When we first brought Max home as a 10-week-old ball of fluff, we knew from the dog book that pugs were classified as having “fair intelligence” and being only “moderately trainable.”

But over time we were delighted to discover that Max would do practically anything for a treat. He quickly acquired a repertoire of tricks, including “Roll Over,” “Spin Around,” “Bow” and “Dancey-Dancey.”   

Max has other talents, too. We call them his “special abilities,” like the characters have on the TV show Heroes. For some inexplicable (and delicious) reason, Max smells like Fritos corn chips. He also possesses the uncanny power, at will, to utterly undo us—like Antonio Banderas’s “Puss in Boots” character in the Shrek cartoons—when he cocks his head and makes his bottomless black eyes go all big and sad. 

Apparently Max was born with an over-abundance of something zoologists actually call the “cute factor.” With his large round head, flat face, floppy ears, and big front-facing eyes, Max ranks right up there in animal kingdom cuteness with pandas, koala bears and baby seals. But other than being irresistibly cute, what good is a pug?

Keep that thought in mind as I tell you my story…

It hadn’t been a good week. A freakish tropical storm in Connecticut where we live had caused the gutters on our old house to overflow, which in turn caused a flood in our basement, including the carpeted rec room.

I was also anxiously awaiting—okay, worrying obsessively about—test results for a recent CT Scan of Tom’s lungs. A month earlier, he had briefly been hospitalized with what was originally diagnosed as pneumonia. Now the doctor said he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was something else. Something serious. 

Then I lost my keys. Well I didn’t actually “lose” my keys. They vanished. One minute they were on the kitchen table next to my grocery list, securely attached to a brown braided-leather key chain. And when I looked again, after a veritable swarm of  gutter and carpet cleaners arrived all at the same time, Poof! the keys were gone.

For the next two hours, I turned the house upside down and inside out looking for my keys. First, I got down on my hands and knees and scanned the kitchen floor. Nothing. 

Then I dumped and scrutinized the contents of my purse. Twice. Yes, I checked my pockets. And yes, I checked the car. And although I knew it made no sense, I also checked the refrigerator, freezer, pantry and oven.  

I called my friend Sara, and told her what had happened and asked her if she would please say a little prayer—for the missing keys, and for Tom’s test results. Which she did, right there over the phone. Praying helped me feel a bit less anxious about Tom—but did nothing for my state of mind about the keys.

As I hung up the phone, I was seized by an unpleasant thought: What if one of the workers took the keys?  

Frantic, I phoned Tom at work, and in a rush of words told him what had happened.

“You’d better call a locksmith,” he said calmly. 

So I did. At least now we didn’t have to worry about being robbed.

Days passed. But I couldn’t stop wondering about the missing keys. In my mind’s eye, I could picture the brown braided-leather key chain so clearly—feel its supple softness, worn smooth as a pebble after years of being tumbled around my purse.

The keys were the first thing I thought of in the morning, and the last thing I thought of before going to sleep. Where could they have gone?

A week later on Saturday afternoon, Tom was standing in the kitchen doorway with dog leash in hand. 

“Can you believe the way those keys never turned up?” I asked him. 

“Good thing we had the locks changed,” he said. “Max and I are going for a walk. Wanna come?”

“Sure.”

On this particular walk, Max assumed his usual pokey pace, meandering along the sidewalk, stopping to sniff (endlessly) every tree trunk, utility pole and fire hydrant along the way.

We strolled past our neighbors’ homes, and then crossed the street, where an empty house was undergoing a renovation. The yard was overgrown and unkempt, littered with lumber and bricks.

Abruptly, Max veered off the sidewalk, and onto the overgrown lot, tugging fiercely on his leash.  

“No, no, Max,” I said. “Stay on the sidewalk.”    

He regarded me imploringly with his Antonio Banderas eyes, and pulled harder, suddenly lurching forward onto the lawn, and flopping down on his belly, with his legs splayed out. Panting, he closed his eyes and luxuriated in the cool softness of the tall grass and weeds.

“C’mon, Max,” I pleaded, pulling his leash. 

Stubbornly he resisted, and became 20 unmovable pounds of dead weight as he pressed his black velvet chin even more firmly into the ground.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” said Tom. “I guess we’d better pick him up and go home.”

As I bent down to pick Max up, I glimpsed something buried deep in the weeds next to Max’s head, something that looked very much like a bit of brown braided-leather. 

No, I thought. This can’t be possible. 

I tugged gently, as though pulling a small carrot out of the ground, and there they were, covered with dirt. My keys.

“Oh, my gosh!” I yelped. “I can’t believe it!”

I screamed so loudly that pedestrians across the street looked over with alarm. “No problem!” I called to them, grinning ecstatically, dangling the keys in the air. “Our dog found my keys!”

They must have thought I was crazy. And for a moment, I wondered if I was. How in the world did Max, a dog who barely had a nose, let alone a sense of smell, manage to lead us precisely to this tiny patch of weeds and grass? 

“Good dog!” I picked Max up and buried my face in his soft fur. 

He waggled his cinnamon-bun tail and snorted happily.

As the three of us turned and headed toward home, Tom speculated that perhaps the keys had, indeed, been taken by one of the workers. 

“It would have been nice,” Tom smiled wryly, “if Max could have found the keys before we changed the locks.”

Later that afternoon, the phone rang. It was the doctor with good news. The CT Scan had revealed that Tom was healing nicely after all. Not to worry, the doctor said. Tom would be fine. 

That night, as I lay in bed, I thought back over the week and remembered my prayer over the telephone with my friend, Sara.

Oh, Kitty, I heard God’s whisper. When will you learn to stop worrying and trust me? You know I always hear you when you pray. And you know I always answer. In my own time. In my own way. Sometimes in the most unlikely and surprising ways…

Sometimes even with a pug.

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Patience Through Prayer

I have played strong, determined women in my television roles—a New York City prosecutor, a San Francisco homicide detective—women who pursue every last lead and keep on doing the next right thing until they solve the crime, women who are certain of the path they’re meant to be on. Offscreen, too, I’m pretty keyed in to what’s supposed to be going on in my life, but I have to admit, sometimes my impatience gets the best of me. 

I’m the most impatient person on the planet. I’m always saying, “Hey, God, I’ve got this great idea! Check it out!” When I want something to happen, I want it to happen now, in my time.

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Like when my husband, Jason Sehorn, and I started going out. Back then I was on Law & Order. He was a professional football player, a cornerback for the New York Giants. One of his teammates introduced us. Right away I knew Jason was special. He reminded me of the first crush I ever had, Christopher Reeve’s Superman (when I saw that movie as a little girl, I realized, Ooh, I don’t need to push boys away. They’re cute!). 

Not only was Jason tall, dark and handsome, he was also smart, strong, kind, honorable and a real gentleman. I mean, the guy was Superman! And I’m sure he could run faster than a speeding bullet if he tried!

From our first date, we clicked. Everything was going great. Until the day we had our first big fight. I went home and sat on my bed, crying. “Lord, I thought I would have met the right guy by now! Please tell me you’ve got someone in mind, because I’m tired of waiting,” I prayed. “I want to be married and have kids. I need to know the right man is near.”

At that moment, the phone rang. It was Jason. “Hey, I just wanted you to know I’m here.”

“What?” I asked. I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“I’m here. Downstairs. I need to talk to you. Can I come up?”

I agreed. When I opened the door, there was Jason with a big bouquet of roses, so huge I couldn’t see his face. “I want to tell you I’m sorry,” he said. He’d had an event that night and at the end of the dinner, he’d gone around to every table and collected every single rose from every single centerpiece.

Our relationship deepened after that. The more I got to know Jason, the more I loved him. Even so, I was totally surprised to see him walk onstage when I was on The Tonight Show in March 2000. Right there in front of Jay Leno and the entire audience, he got down on one knee and asked, “Will you marry me?”

Of course I said yes!

It wasn’t till a couple days later, in my dressing room at Law & Order that I realized I never asked God what he thought. I’d been too busy telling him what I wanted. “Lord,” I said now, “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about this earlier. Is Jason the one you really want me to be with?”

No answer.

I tried again. “God, I don’t want to make a mistake here. I have to know from you. Is Jason the person I should spend the rest of my life with?”

Still nothing. There was a paper clip on the table in front of me. I picked it up and fiddled with it. I felt my impatience resurfacing. Why wasn’t God answering? I just wanted a sign that I was doing the right thing. I looked across the room and saw a cup on my desk, a pencil holder. All at once I had this wild impulse. “God, I’m going to close my eyes and throw this paper clip,” I said. “If it goes into that cup, then that means you’re okay with me getting married to Jason.”

All right, I know how strange that sounds. But I had to do something. Besides, you’ve got to keep in mind that I can’t even throw a crumpled paper into a wastebasket from two feet away—Jason’s the one with athletic talent, not me. But that day, I closed my eyes and tossed the paper clip across the room. As soon as I let go of it, I opened my eyes.

It went right into the cup! I don’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t, but God didn’t put me to that test. He’s always been a lot more patient with me than I am with him.

These days I’m learning the art of patience, mostly from Jason. I see how good he is with our girls, Finley Faith and Avery Grace, ages four and two. He spends hours with them in the backyard looking for bugs and snails and frogs (I think, Gross, those were a plague for a reason!). 

My favorite time is right when the girls get up from their naps. They have their little sleepy faces, and they crawl into my lap and snuggle. They’re so still I can feel their hearts beating. I hold them close and think how grateful I am that I waited to meet the right man and have our wonderful family. Not in my time but in God’s. 

And never do I feel more like I’m living in his time than when my little ones are in my arms. It’s a reminder that all good things come to those who wait. Even to an impatient person like me.

The Story Behind the Story

I went to L.A. to interview Angie Harmon and bring her story to the page. We’re both working moms with two young daughters so I know how hard it can be to balance a career and kids. In fact, the interview had to be delayed because Angie had pinkeye—we’d been through that at our house too. Chatting with her was like talking to an old friend. We’re both Southern (Angie’s from Texas; I’m from Alabama) and have a lot in common, especially our belief in the power of prayer.

I asked Angie what she wanted her girls to learn from her. She didn’t hesitate. “That there’s always room to improve. We can always do something that makes us a better person.” I love that! Clearly Angie is a beautiful woman, but from working on this story I found out how beautiful she is on the inside too.—G.R. 

Download your FREE ebook, A Prayer for Every Need, by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Party Prayers

Just before a party I was giving, I eased into one of the chairs at the dinner table for a moment. The silver gleamed, the crystal sparkled, fresh flowers made a colorful centerpiece. I looked at the place card in front of me. "Margaret," it said.

From out of my past came a memory of a story.  I once heard about a minister's wife who, during the week, would enter the empty church and move from pew to pew, praying for the person who usually sat in that spot.  What if I sat in each chair around the table and prayed for each name? I wondered.

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I went around the table praying for each guest.  I felt wonderful and completely at peace until I came to the last place card. I stared at the name.  This person had hurt me. I thought I'd forgiven her but now, as I mentally knelt before the Lord,  I realized I was still bitter.  I didn't want to ask God to bless her.

It was difficult at first,  but finally I imagined myself kneeling beside her as Jesus put a hand on each of our heads. The hard knot of bitterness inside me began to dissolve.

There was a lot more than good food at the table that night. Among other things there was a carefree, happy hostess!

Only a Prayer Apart

With my kids and husband out for the afternoon, it was a good time to go through the box of things I’d brought home from Mom’s house on my last visit. The old photos made me wish she lived close enough to see every day. I reached into the box and pulled out a scrap of paper.

Is this…? I unfolded it and gasped. “It can’t be!”

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Written in faded marker was a verse from Genesis: “The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.”

At once I was nine years old again, watching Mom pack my trunk for summer camp. I’d never been away from home alone for so long before. “Please don’t make me go, Mom!” I cried.

“It will be fun, Melinda,” Mom said. “You’ll make lots of new friends. You can write every day and tell me all the fun things you’re doing.”

I dissolved into tears. Mom gathered me in her arms and rocked me. “I have an idea,” she said. “The two of us can have a secret prayer. Whenever you’re sad or homesick just say it to yourself. I’ll be praying for you too.”

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She recited the verse to me until I learned it. Maybe I was just tired out from crying, but it made me feel a little better.

“You’ll see,” Mom promised. “It seems like I’ll be far away. But we’ll be only a prayer apart.” At camp the next day I opened my trunk. Taped to the inside was a scrap of paper with our verse on it in Mom’s handwriting.

I did make new friends at camp, just as Mom had promised. And I had lots of fun. But I got homesick too sometimes; whenever I did, my special prayer made me feel better.

Over the years Mom pinned the prayer to my suitcase on my eighth-grade class trip to Washington and cross-stitched it for me when I went away to college. After I got married I hung it in my new house. My kids are growing up with the prayer too.

And now, just when I was thinking about Mom, here was the original, its ink faded but its power undiminished. No matter where I go, my loved ones and I will always be only a prayer apart.

Download your FREE ebook, A Prayer for Every Need, by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Not Afraid of Death

On my very first visit to Gene, a wonderful Baptist man, I knew how deep his faith was. He was only 60 years old, dying of cancer of the lung, but he had no fear in him.

As I was preparing to leave, I asked if he would like me to pray with him. This precious and confident man fell to his knees in front of me, hands raised, and said, “Yes, please.” I could just see God smiling at the picture of a Catholic nurse praying with a Baptist patient who was about to meet his Creator. We became fast friends in a very short time.

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Gene had two handsome blue-eyed, blond sons and one beautiful brown-eyed, dark-haired daughter, all of whom he loved dearly. He told me about a great-great-great grandmother who was a Native American princess, which explained the beautiful daughter who for all the world could be one. Although he mentioned it to me, and was proud of it, it had not impacted his life to any great degree.

Gene was a very devout Christian and now, as he approached his death, he knew whom he would be seeing very soon. “I know where I am going and I’m not afraid to die,” he said to me on more than one occasion.

One evening while the whole family was kneeling around his bed, I asked, “Do you want us to pray with you?” Even though Gene had not responded for about three or four days, he made it known with groans and a shake of his head that yes, he wanted us to pray with him.

It became very clear that Gene could hear us praying and he joined us in a very unique way. His prayer sounded so beautiful and much like a chant, with all the rhythms and sounds associated with Native American worship. As he was praying, he began to lift his body into a sitting position with his hands outstretched and his arms raised. It was spellbinding to watch since he had not responded in any way for days and was really too weak to do so now.

It seemed wonderful that God would enable this faith-filled man to be accompanied by the ancestors he did not know and to find comfort in their prayers for him now. He died peacefully the next day with his loving family around him.

How to Powerfully Bless Someone

A favorite prayer practice of mine is to pray blessings over people–whether it’s in a child dedication ceremony, a birthday greeting, an email signature, or praying with someone in church. I often use one of these 12 biblical benedictions to pray over someone. These benedictions have been adapted from Bible verses.

I’ve never heard anyone object to receiving such a prayer and have frequently been told that one of these blessings had a powerful effect on someone, even when it was offered briefly and in passing.

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It blesses us to bless others and also fulfills the biblical admonition to “let your conversation be always full of grace” (Colossians 4:6, NIV), and to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV).

Here are 12 powerful blessings you can use for all occasions.

Ever Forget to Pray for Someone?

Has this ever happened to you? Someone’s reached out and told you of a desperate need and you’ve promised to pray. “You’re in my prayers,” you said. In fact, they probably shared with you because they know you’re a praying person. You prayed then and there. But a couple of days went by, weeks perhaps, and you forgot to pray again.

A month or two or three or 10 months later, you get an email from them or from their best friend, thanking you for your prayers. It’s all good news, you discover. The latest report from the oncologist shows no lingering sign of cancer or the marriage that seemed headed for divorce has weathered another year or the job that was desperately sought has been found. “So grateful for your prayers,” you read.

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With guilt and regret you fidget in your chair and your hands hover over the keyboard because you’re tempted to type, full of apology, in all caps: “BUT…BUT…BUT…I FORGOT TO PRAY.”

Does this sound at all familiar? I wish I could say it never happened to me, but it has. Over a year ago a dear friend asked me to pray for a woman who’d had a lung transplant, a huge surgery, and was going through a long grueling recovery. Yes, yes, I did pray for the woman.

But then other needs, other requests were made, and as good as I try to be at scribbling prayer requests down on a yellow Post-It note so I won’t forget, the Post-It notes pile up and new Post-It notes get scribbled down, and sometimes I can’t even read my handwriting.

So when an email came announcing good news I was pleased. “She’s so grateful for your prayers,” I was told. “It means the world to her.” I cringed at that. I hardly deserved any credit. My hands hovered over the keyboard, yearning to write something apologetic.

Then I thought, “WAIT A MINUTE. God is the one who deserves the credit here.” Praise God. “I’m thrilled for her,” I wrote, trying my best to sound gracious. And gracious is just the right word with grace at the heart of it, God’s grace, God’s forgiving grace.

In the meanwhile, here is my note to self, just to do better–when a prayer request comes, do three things:

1)  Pray then and there. 
Pray over the phone, pray in an email, pray in a journal, pray silently to yourself. But pray then and there.

2)  Write it down.
Write things down not just to remember them but because the writing itself is prayer. It’s very satisfying to go back and look at those names. Sometimes you discover a prayer has been answered without your fussing over it.

3)  Trust God to remember what you forget. 
God’s in charge here. That’s what it’s all about. That was what the first and second and 20th prayers were all about, reminders that God is taking care of what is too big for us to do.

Good thing that God doesn’t forget!

A Prayer for the High School Graduate

From the time a child is born we start marking their life with milestones: the first step, the first word, that teary first day of kindergarten. But high school graduation is a biggie; after all, it means our kids are often getting ready to fly the coop and leave us with an empty nest

So whether your child is headed off to college, to work or on some other type of adventure, seeking God’s guidance can help everyone move forward successfully with this rite of passage.  

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Prayer for High School Graduate

Dear Lord, thank You for choosing me to parent my child; raising them has been one of my life’s greatest honors. As we reach this important milestone—high school graduation—I am full of pride as well as some trepidation.  I know that to everything there is a season and that this part of my parenting journey is coming to a close. God, help me to let go and focus on supporting my child through the next exciting phase of their life journey; protect them as they take this giant step forward into adulthood. Wrap them in your loving embrace and infuse them with hope and the knowledge to make good choices for their career and future relationships. Bring them closer to You. Oh merciful Father, I know that you have wonderful plans for my child—plans to prosper and not to harm—so show both of us how to trust in You more fully. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

A Friendship for a Season

Think about the people in your life. How many of them are your friends?

As people come into our lives, we open up our hearts for a reason…some stay for a season, while others stay for a lifetime.  A true friendship is one of the greatest treasures in life. Where would you be without friends?

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Henri Nouwen wrote, “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

I honestly would not be the person that I am today without the friends I’ve had in my life.  During a time where my passion and energy for ministry was at its lowest point, I opened up and confided in my friend Sid, explaining how the everyday challenges of leading a church had worn me down. That the joy of helping people had turned into a burden.

“Pablo, the passion does come back. God will renew your energy. The fire will return for ministry.” I did not believe him. After all, Sid and I were worlds apart, in age, education and backgrounds. When I continued feeling at my lowest, it was Sid’s words that replayed in my mind giving me the hope I needed.

He was right! In time God restored my energy and more importantly…my passion for ministry.

Someone once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Sid was the one who walked in. He was the friend I needed at the time.
People come into our lives for a reason. Some stay for a season and a few for a life time. Where would we be without the people who lift us up when we need it the most? Who did God send your way when you needed a warm and tender hand? Share your story.

Prayer: Lord, teach me how to walk with my friends in their darkest moment and send the friends I need for this season of my life.

8 Ways to Pray for Your Pastor

Everyone wants a stronger, more vibrant spiritual life, right? And Christians everywhere want their church to be stronger and more vibrant, right? If that’s your desire, one of the best things you can do to make that happen is to pray for your pastor.

Being a pastor is among the most demanding, most stressful jobs in our modern world. A recent Forbes Magazine article listed “pastor” and “minister” in the top five toughest leadership roles. I’ve been there myself, having pastored four churches over a couple decades. And I have dozens of pastor friends, including my own pastors. Pastors are on the front lines. They juggle numerous tasks, most of which are behind the scenes. They present easy targets for comparisons and complaints. Their spouses and families often suffer from unrealistic expectations. And they often feel alone and misunderstood.

Some people, of course, wish their spiritual leaders were more dynamic leaders or better preachers or more sensitive shepherds. Some resort to criticizing their pastor or bemoaning the state of their church. But few things will accomplish as much as praying for your pastor. Doing so simultaneously draws you closer to God and makes you a partner with God in the work He wants to do for you, your spiritual life, your church, and your church’s leaders.

What—and how—should you pray? I offer eight suggestions:

1)  Pray for your pastor’s marriage and family

No pastor wants to neglect his or her spouse and family. But it is too easy to let the demands of others crowd out the priority of marriage and family. So pray for your pastor’s marriage and children to thrive. Pray for your pastor’s aging parents or other relatives. Ask God to make his or her home a place of beauty and joy that sets a good example for the flock of God.

2)  Pray for your pastor’s spiritual life

No one can draw water from an empty well. Yet too often pastors try to preach and teach, counsel and comfort, lead and support to the neglect of their own souls. So pray for your pastor to keep company with God in prayer, to experience blessing and growth in Bible reading (not only to prepare for preaching and teaching), and to find and seize opportunities to worship himself or herself. 

3)  Pray for your pastor’s physical health

The demands of ministry often compete with healthy lifestyles. In the U.S., people in ministry now suffer from obesity and hypertension at higher rates than those to whom they minister. So pray for your pastor to be protected from sickness and disease. Pray for your pastor to take good physical care of himself or herself, to develop and maintain good diet and exercise routines. Pray for physical strength and stamina, particularly during demanding ministry seasons (such as Advent, building campaigns, etc.). 

4)  Pray for wisdom and vision

Leaders often face incredibly challenging situations and decisions. Seasons of growth, stagnation, and decline in the church all demand much from a pastor. So pray for God to grant wisdom and vision to your pastor. Pray for wisdom to say “yes” and “no” at the appropriate times. Pray for wisdom in scheduling and hiring and firing. Pray for vision to lead the church as it needs to be led and where it needs to go.

5)  Pray for your pastor’s friendships

Being a pastor can be a dangerously lonely job. Few understand the pressures they face and many criticize the decisions they make. Pray for your pastor to make and maintain healthy, strong friendships that will build him or her up, relationships that allow your pastor to be himself or herself, and enjoy an occasional respite from the responsibility of being “all things to all people.”

6)  Pray for your pastor’s finances

Many people in ministry are over-committed and underpaid. They make sacrifices for the sake of the Gospel, and often serve churches where funds are tight. But of course Scripture says, “The worker deserves his wages” (1 Timothy 5:18, NIV), and debt and other financial pressures make effective ministry all the more difficult. So pray for your pastor’s financial well-being.

7)  Pray for rest

As a pastor, I never realized how tired I was until the first day or two of vacation. I would often collapse in exhaustion and frequently got sick. Eventually, I learned to take a weekly Sabbath, but I was still often “running on fumes” by the time my Sabbath arrived. Many pastors are the same—or worse. So pray for your pastor to get the necessary rest, to be regularly and completely refreshed and revived by sleep, recreation, time off and vacation.

8)  Pray for ministry effectiveness

Nothing revives and restores a pastor like a spiritual victory—a grateful response to a sermon, new converts, new members, baptisms, etc. So pray for your pastor to feel useful and effective in his or her efforts, to see the fruit of his or her labors, and to experience the blessing of making a real and lasting difference in people’s lives.

These are not the only prayers you can pray for your pastor, of course. There are too many to list. But these represent a great start, and each will make a discernible difference in your own prayer life—and that of your faith community.

7 Prayers for Getting Married in a Pandemic

How to get married during a pandemic? Not only do couples face tough logistical decisions about the ceremony during this time of social distancing but so do the families and friends who want to celebrate with them. Many couples have changed their plans to outdoor venues or walked down the aisle in masks. Often families have had to forgo travel and watch their loved ones’ wedding on video.

As problematic as weddings and receptions can be at the moment, one thing can and should be constant: prayer. Wherever and however a couple is joined together, prayer can be offered for them—and can provide an occasion to pray for our own marriages. My wife and I have done this for years now, using every wedding as an opportunity to renew our own wedding vows and refresh the prayers for our marriage.

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Here are seven prayers I repeat often for my marriage and can be offered for any newly married couple, from any distance:

1)  The One Flesh Prayer
Lord God, Your Word says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, NIV). Thank You for joining us together in the profound and mysterious union that is a reflection of Your relationship with the church. Bless and increase our oneness of mind, heart, body and soul, and let our one life together be a testimony of love and commitment to all around us. Amen. 

2)  The Song of Songs Prayer
May God grant us, today and every day that is to come, a love that burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame; the love which many waters cannot quench and mighty rivers cannot wash away; the love which lasts longer than life is stronger than death and is worth more than all the wealth in the world, amen (based on Song of Songs 8:6-7).

3)  The Wedding at Cana Prayer
Jesus, You chose a wedding in Cana of Galilee as the setting for Your first miracle. You blessed that couple with Your presence and wonder-working power. You saved them and their family from shame and scandal. You played a key role in launching their married life in joy and honor. So, Lord, I ask, do that for us as well, letting Your presence and power in our lives save us from shame and scandal and result in joy and honor. Amen.

4)  The Cord of Three Strands Prayer
Father, let us never forget that a Christian marriage is not a duet but a trio. Help us to strengthen and preserve our marriage by always keeping You at the center of our marriage, remembering, as the Bible says, that “A cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, CSB). Amen.

5)  The Promise Prayer
Father God, please help us to keep every promise we’ve made to each other: to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, forsaking all others, ‘til death do us part. Amen.

6)  The Colossians Prayer
Help us, God, as Your chosen people, holy and dearly loved, to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience toward each other, and bear with each other and forgive one another any and every grievance. Help us to forgive as You forgave us. And over all these other virtues help us to put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, and make us always thankful, letting the message of Christ dwell in us richly as we teach and admonish each other with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in our hearts. And in all that we do, whether in word or deed, help us to do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him (based on Colossians 3:12-17, NIV).

7)  The Hebrews 13:4 Prayer
Father, Your Word says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV). Grant that we may always honor this holy, sacramental relationship and keep it free from all impurity of heart, mind and life, in Jesus’ name, amen.

These are good wedding prayers for any couple, but they’re especially meaningful for one’s own marriage, reminding us of the love and promises we share.

5 Prayers for a Child Leaving Home

When our children started grade school, my wife would gather them in her arms and pray for them before they walked out. She would pray for their safety, wisdom and wise choices. The practice continued through their school years. But when they left home for college, we had to settle for just one prayer together in a dorm room or apartment.

And when it came to their wedding days, we prayed yet again. Now they were leaving home, for good. 

Pray A Word a Day - 2023 In article

I wish we’d had a way to record those prayers which, of course, changed over the years. But after adjusting for age and maturity, the gist was usually much the same. It followed a pattern like these prayers that can be prayed over a child of any age who is leaving the house—or leaving home—for whatever reason: 

1)  The Aaronic Blessing

The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn His face toward you
    and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26, NIV)

2)  The Irish Blessing (slightly revised)

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back. 
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
and rains fall soft upon your efforts* 
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

*Revised. The original is phrased, “upon your fields.”

3)  St. Patrick’s Breastplate (slightly revised)

Christ go with you, Christ before you,
Christ behind you, Christ within you,
Christ beneath you, Christ above you,
Christ at your right, Christ at your left.

4)  The Lorica of St. Fursey (slightly revised)

The arms of God be around your shoulders,
The touch of the Holy Spirit upon your head, 
The sign of Christ’s cross upon your forehead, 
The sound of the Holy Spirit in your ears,
The fragrance of the Holy Spirit in your nostrils, 
The vision of heaven’s company in your eyes, 
The conversation of heaven’s company on your lips, 
The work of God’s church in your hands,
The service of God and the neighbor in your feet, 
A home for God in your heart,
And to God, the Father of all, your entire being. 

5)  David’s Song (based on Psalm 28:7)
May the Lord be your strength and shield; 
let your heart trust in Him, and be helped by Him. 
May your heart leap for joy,
and a song of praise to Him be always in your mouth.