Bill & Lois Wilson, Copyright Stepping Stones Foundation. Property of the archive of Stepping StonesâHistoric Home of Bill & Lois Wilson, Katonah, NY. Permission required for further use. http://www.steppingstones.org
I nudged my car up a narrow drive through trees. Sunlight on the leaves made a riot of shadows. It was beautiful, but I was impatient. I didnât want to be there. I wanted to be at home, working on a new screenplay I was writing. Instead, my wife, Bernadette, had dragged me to a picnic at her friend Lois Wilsonâs house. Lois was the widow of Bill Wilson, cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I knew about AAâI had started my career in newspapers and met plenty of hard-drinking reporters whose lives were saved by the organization and its 12-step program of recovery. And, ever since Bernadette had met Lois through some mutual friends, she had been telling me what a kind and fascinating woman she was. But not even learning that Lois had founded Al-Anon, the 12-step support group for loved ones of alcoholics, could make me glad to give up a precious weekend day. My business partners and I had recently produced the 1973 hit movie âSerpico,â starring Al Pacino. We were working feverishly on a follow-up, chasing screenplays, talent and money. There was little time for anything else. What am I doing here? Weâll just shake hands and leave early, I thought.
The picnic was at Stepping Stones, Bill and Loisâs cedar-shingle house on an eight-acre plot of woodland in New Yorkâs Westchester County. Lois held the picnic every year, an open invitation for recovering alcoholics and their families to spend a day relaxing in the warm June sun. When Bernadette and I reached the top of Loisâs drive, we saw a wide lawn barely dotted with people spreading blankets. We were early. More time squandered.
We got out, and I breathed the rich, dusky smell of lilacs. A stream meandered past and disappeared into trees. Bernadette led me across the lawn to a screened porch at the back of the house. There, surrounded by a few friends, sat an elderly lady in slacks and a silk blouse. When she saw Bernadette, she rose and embraced her.
âLois, this is my husband, Bill.â
Lois, who, at age 82, was no more than five feet tall, looked up at me with glistening, grayish-blue eyes and gripped my hand firmly. âItâs wonderful to meet you,â she said in a lively, crackling voice. I stammered out a reply, suddenly feeling very foolish. She was so open, so welcoming. She told me how pleased she was that I had come, then invited me to go with a friend of hers named Penny on a tour of the house. In moments I was mounting a creaky spiral staircase and entering a long, high-ceilinged room crammed with photographs, plaques, an old Moviola machine and a desk where, Penny told me, Lois had laid the groundwork for Al-Anon by sending letters to the wives of alcoholics in her husbandâs support groups.
As I made my way through the room, poring over photographs of Bill and Lois, and reading letters from luminaries around the world thanking them for their work, my eyes widened in surprise. I clicked on the Moviola and felt my own movie gears whir. The founding of AAâwhat a film that would make! And all the material is right here at my fingertips. I wonder if Lois will give me permission?
When Penny and I returned to the porch, the lawn outside was packed with families eating, laughing and forming a line around the house to spend a few moments with Lois. I watched her greet each person as if he or she were her only guest. They kissed her cheeks, gave her gifts and told her stories of recovery and redemption. âIâm so glad you could come,â she replied. âAnd itâs wonderful to hear what AA did for you.â
Bernadette and I stayed most of the afternoon. When we left, I asked Lois if I could meet with her again to talk about my movie idea.
âOf course,â she said.
The following Thursday afternoon, Lois and I sat in her living room, drinking tea. I turned on a tape recorder, and she began to tell the story of herself and Bill. They had married just before he shipped off to fight in World War I. She still had a picture of him in his second lieutenantâs uniform, and I could see why she spoke of him so reverently. He was handsome, with a penetrating look, and she said that even at that young age, she believed he would do great things. When he returned from the war, heâd made a great deal of money working in finance on Wall Street, and he had rented an elegant apartment in Brooklyn Heights, just across the East River from Manhattanâs thrusting skyline.
Heâd also, however, begun drinking. Not enough, at first, to affect his work. But enough to eventually snowball into a powerful addiction. Soon, he was arriving at the office hung over, insulting clients and cutting out early to drink. He would disappear for days into underground speakeasies, surfacing only when he ran out of money. Lois, frantic, would be left to nurse him back to health. After the stock market crash of 1929, he lost his job and the apartment, and he and Lois crammed their belongings into her fatherâs house on Brooklynâs Clinton Street. Only when Billâs drinking landed him in the hospital for the fourth time did he reach out to a God he had never believed in and realize that faith and fellowship were his only hope.
âHe founded AA after meeting a fellow alcoholic named Dr. Bob Smith, on a trip to Akron,â Lois told me. âWhen he got back to New York, he began a support group at our house. Though, if you had seen it back then, you wouldnât have called it that. It was mostly just Bill going to the Bowery and pulling drunks out of the gutter to pray with them and talk about their addiction. They werenât exactly a welcome sight. But all I could think was, they were keeping Bill sober. So I didnât complain that he wasnât working, and that they werenât paying him anything for his help. I got a job at Macyâs and did the cooking and cleaning at night.â
It was a precarious life, made more so when Loisâs dad died, leaving Lois and Bill to pay the mortgage on the house. Billâs AA group was growing, but Loisâs job wasnât enough to make payments. One day, a foreclosure-warning letter arrived from the bank. Lois showed it to Bill as he got dressed for a meeting downstairs.
âWe need to talk about this,â she said.
âNot now, sweetheart,â Bill answered.
âBut, Bill, weâre going to lose the house!â she said.
âWell, these men are waiting for me,â Bill said. And he dashed downstairs.
âAt that moment, I realized something that sounds very strange,â Lois told me. âBillâs AA groups were working wonders. But they were becoming like his drinkingâconsuming him. Not even sobriety could curb the effects of alcoholism! I felt so helpless, so trapped by this spiral of addiction, that I stomped out to the front porch to get some air. I was all set to yell at the trees when I happened to notice a long row of cars parked in front of the house. I peered through the car windows and saw that, sitting in each car, was the wife of one of the men at Billâs meeting. They had driven their husbands there and parked outside to make sure they stayed. They were that desperate.â
“Thatâs who I need to talk to, I thought. Theyâll understand. And I ran to the street and asked the women into the kitchen for coffee. As soon as I told them how mad I was at Bill, even though he was sober, they all cried out that they were mad at their husbands! Well, I knew right then that we wives, and anyone else related to an alcoholic, were sick and needed our own support group. And soon after that, Al-Anon began.â
Lois and I had many more conversations like thatâseveral yearsâ worth, in fact. She told me much about her and Billâs life, but mostly I paid attention to the parts about Bill. That information was what I needed for the television movie My Name is Bill W., which premiered in 1989, starring James Woods as Bill and JoBeth Williams as Lois. The movie was a hit, garnering seven Emmy Award nominations.
But Lois didnât live to see it. She died in 1988 at age 97. I moved onto other projects and stowed the tapes of our interviews deep in a box.
More than a decade later, Bernadette and I moved to South Carolina. I was unpacking my office when I came across a stack of tapes buried beneath some papers. I took one out. It was wrapped in a green band, which I had used to mark Loisâs interviews.
A strange feeling came over me. I inserted the tape into a stereo I keep in the office and pressed play. Loisâs vivid, crackling laughter filled the room.
Then her voice came in, in that no-nonsense New England twang. âIf your husband or wife gets cancer or some other terrible illness, do you walk out on them? Of course not. Well, alcoholism is a disease, and I couldnât walk out on it.â
Bernadette came in. âIs that Lois?â she asked me.
âYes,â I said, putting a hand to my face.
âHow wonderful that you still have those tapes,â Bernadette said. âWe should listen to them again.â
Yes, I thought. Listen. Did I ever really listen to Lois? I remembered not even wanting to meet her, driving grudgingly to her house under a warm June sun. What if I had never pulled up that narrow drive? Never stepped onto that screened porch and seen her welcoming eyes? I would never have made my movie. But, more important, I would never have met the woman who changed the way we think about alcoholism.
Lois had made me promise to preserve her anonymity in Al-Anon. But now that she had died, I realized that the world needed to know just how profound her insight and contribution had been. That afternoon on her porch, seeing those wives lined up in their cars, Lois didnât just find a support group. She learned the true, terrible reach of alcoholism. The way it affects whole families, anyone connected to an alcoholic. Without her support of Bill, there would have been no Alcoholics Anonymous. But without her recognition of her own need for healing, millions would still be battling a disease they didnât even know had hurt them.
I looked at Bernadette. âI think I need to write a book about Lois,â I said.
Bernadette grew quiet. âI think thatâs a wonderful idea,â she said. âWhen will you start?â
I looked at the tapes. âRight away,â I said. âIâve got everything I need.â
In fact, I had been led here years before, not knowing that that day when I first visited Stepping Stones, a plan had already been set in motion.
This story first appeared in the January 2007 issue of Guideposts magazine.
UPDATE: William Borchert wrote the script for his film My Name is Bill W., based on the true story of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson. He also published the book about Bill Wilson’s wife, Lois, called The Lois Wilson Story: When Love is Not Enough.
Photo courtesy of Stepping StonesâHistoric Home of Bill & Lois Wilson, Katonah, NY, http://www.steppingstones.org