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3 Reasons to Renew Your Appreciation of Nature

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature,” wrote the naturalist John Muir, “he feels it attached to the rest of the world.”

Each year, there comes a time when we realize we are spending more time outdoors, and we’re always wise to take a moment to pause, look around and gratefully breathe in the freshness of the warm, growing season.

This year, the renewal of the natural world—and our place in it—is more poignant than ever as we continue to live with the coronavirus pandemic and its myriad implications for our daily lives.

For me, Muir’s words capture the moment perfectly. Even if it’s just a short walk or trip to the garden, nature makes me feel more grounded. Having spent so much time indoors—and continuing to physically distance despite the weather—I find that each “single thing” I encounter in nature takes on profound meaning.

1) Nature Feeds Us

Lettuce and herb seeds I planted weeks ago are starting to look like actual, bona fide plants. I’ve grown vegetable gardens for years, but this year when those tender plants first peered up at the sunlight, I felt deeply moved by the gift of nourishment that can grow from such a tiny seed.

2) Nature Persists

My family is fortunate to live near a walking trail that is sparsely traveled. The sight of feathery, new pine trees greeted us on a recent walk and left us astonished and reassured as we recognized that they had grown from pine cones that had peppered the forest floor. Without any human hands, nature finds its way.

3) Nature Comforts Us

The pandemic leaves no one untouched, and each of us is grieving in some way—for a loved one who has died, for the pressures of financial strain, for the loss of routines and habits that used to define our daily lives. In times of grief, nature can be a comforting presence. Take a moment to look up at passing clouds, gaze at photos of awe-inspiring natural wonders, watch a nature documentary and find solace in the ever-present invitation nature offers us to connect to the beauty of both our inner lives and, as Muir suggests, “to the rest of the world.”

Are you appreciating nature in new ways during the coronavirus pandemic?

3 Reasons to Love (and Eat More) Asparagus

I’m feeling inspired to plant an asparagus crown this year in my garden—these starters are available at garden centers only in the early spring, so now is the time. As a plant, asparagus is a beautiful perennial, sending up spears each spring that look other-worldly and mysterious, followed by tall, frilly fronds that look lush and lovely in the garden.

But if the promise of a spring asparagus harvest is exciting from a gardening perspective, it’s downright delectable from a breakfast, lunch or dinner point of view. Whether tossed into an omelet, stirred into a salad, folded into a pasta or grain bowl, or grilled and eaten by the spear, asparagus is a fresh, vibrant spring delicacy.

If you need encouragement to add asparagus to your spring menu, keep these three benefits in mind.

1) Nutrition Powerhouse
Fiber, folate and vitamins A, C, E and K are only some of the important nutrients asparagus boasts. The vegetable also contains high levels of antioxidants, compounds that reduce inflammation and offer anti-aging benefits, helps prevent cognitive decline and is believed to help prevent cancer. With few calories (and lots of flavor), asparagus gives you a lot of nutritional bang for your buck.

2) Natural Diuretic
If you’re like me, eating asparagus is followed by a distinctive smell next time you head to the bathroom for Number 1. This phenomenon is utterly harmless. In fact, the aspargusic acid that causes the odor actually helps your body because it contains an amino acid that acts as a natural diuretic, drawing salts from your body and increasing your body’s output of urine. People with high blood pressure especially benefit from this property.

3) Delicious!
Taking pleasure in what we eat is a health benefit in and of itself—and when a food is as nutritionally beneficial as asparagus, enjoying it plentifully is a win-win. Prepare asparagus by snapping off the woody end at the place where it naturally breaks. Then, toss it in olive oil, salt and pepper and roast in a hot oven or on a grill. Or, cut the spears into pieces and sauté or stir fry. Cooked asparagus is delicious either warm or cold and can brighten up salads, serve as a scrumptious side dish to meats or fish, or taste delicious alongside raw vegetables served with dip.

Do you think of spring as “asparagus season?” What’s your favorite way to enjoy it?

3 Quick Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Mom and I walked quickly across the parking lot at St. Mary’s Church in Glens Falls, New York, where we lived. I checked the announcement from the bulletin I held in my hand again. It announced the time and place of a new Bible study tonight. “I think I know right where the room is,” I said.

It was strange how the announcement had caught not only my eye but Mom’s too. I grew up at St. Mary’s, and there must have been dozens of Bible studies at our church over the years. We never went. But for whatever reason, we both wanted to go to this one.

We walked into the building and looked around. There was nobody but us in the entryway. I didn’t hear anyone. “I think it’s this way,” I said, leading Mom down the hall.

I was used to taking charge. I was a school principal, with a long teaching career. I taught my students to keep working until they solved a problem. And I would keep searching until I found this Bible study! Mom and I turned the corner and found…an empty room.

“Maybe it’s upstairs,” said Mom.

This time she led the way. I glanced at my watch. We still had several minutes before the class started, but I didn’t like feeling lost. It reminded me of my early days as a second-grade teacher here, back when I was just learning the ropes. I didn’t have much experience but I was eager to try new things. That first year I planned a big Christmas play. A class mother got us free elf hats from the Glens Falls National Bank, and I wrote a script about elves with a part for everyone.

The following year I decided to do a Nativity play. I based it on the classic picture book, The Littlest Angel, the story of a rambunctious boy-angel who finds it difficult to fit in with the ordered world of heaven.

I worked hard to create parts just right for every child in my class. Our best reader was the narrator. A girl who loved to sing got a solo. But there was one part I had to work extra hard to write. The part for a boy named David. I remembered that student like I had taught him yesterday.

“I don’t hear anybody,” said Mom, peering down another empty hallway. “Maybe we should have gone downstairs instead of up.”

“Let’s try this again,” I said.

Try again. How many times had I encouraged David to do that? He was a smart boy. He was always eager to please. He just had a hard time sitting still. Even for his age, David had a lot of excess energy. That came in handy when I needed someone to run an errand for Teacher, but it was also a problem when he needed to focus on math or reading. I had to think up just the right part for him in our play.

David put his whole heart into it. He wanted to do his best for the audience, for the rest of the cast, for me and for God. The day of the performance he was very nervous. “What if I forget what to do?” he said as I helped him into his costume and straightened his halo over his head.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” I said. “You’re an angel. You just run down from your spot in the chorus, right to the front of the stage. Pretend that you’re flying. Then you hold up your golden box—your gift for Baby Jesus.”

“What if I make a mistake?” he said. “Or do a bad job?”

“When you’re on stage,” I said, “remember this. You are not there alone. Your angels are with you. Rely on them and they’ll guide you. And your own guardian angel will be right by your side. He would never miss seeing you in a play about the birth of Jesus!” I could still see David’s big smile in response.

Down to the main level, and down another flight of stairs, Mom and I followed another long hallway. Here, at last, we saw signs of life. “Is this the Bible study?” I asked.

“You’re right on time,” said the teacher. “Take a seat.”

As we got settled I ran through David’s performance in my mind. He was the star of the Christmas play. He played his part perfectly, zooming out of his spot in the choir and holding up his golden box. I’d never doubted that David could do it, but watching him prove it to himself was something special.

David believed in guardian angels that night. I hoped that wherever he was he still believed in guardian angels now.

The year of The Littlest Angel was my last at Saint Mary’s. I went back to school for my master’s. The school where I next worked wasn’t far from Saint Mary’s, but I rarely had any reason to visit. I never forgot that first job, or the first children I taught. Not just David, but the other boys too, and the girls, their parents even . . .

My eye fell on another woman at the Bible study. She looked familiar. Was I seeing things, or was David’s mother sitting just a few feet away from me? I almost laughed out loud. What were the odds?

When the Bible study was over I re-introduced myself. “I taught your son David,” I said. “We put on a play . . .”

“The Littlest Angel!” she said. “I’ll never forget it. David was so proud when it was all over.”

I recalled for her how nervous David had been before the show, and how I’d tried to give him confidence. “I knew David would have angels with him on the stage,” I said. “By the time the night was over, David knew it too.”

For a moment David’s mom went quiet. I thought I might have said something wrong. Was David all right these days? What had become of him, I had no idea.

“David’s enlisted in the Army,” his mom said. “He leaves tomorrow. He’s been nervous about it. I’ve been worried about him too. Thanks for reminding me that he won’t be alone. His angels will be with him now just like they were then.”

I didn’t see David’s mother again after that night, and I’ve since moved to Ohio. But I’ve never worried about my young, energetic student again. I know that wherever he is, he has angels by his side.

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3 Powerful Benefits of Gazing at the Stars

My favorite Broadway villain of all time is Javert, the foil to the heroic Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. Javert may be an uncompassionate man with a rigid sense of morality, but in a moving moment, he sings a song that inspires me every time I look upward at a clear night sky.

He sings of “stars, in their multitude, scarce to be counted, filling the chaos with order and light.” Even this character, with his obsessive nature, knows that the stars in the sky are uncountable, yet organized, stable and ever-present.

In that, he shares an important lesson about the positive power of the night sky—their awe-inspiring vastness can serve as an instant corrective to feelings of narcissism, self-pity and so many other negative feelings. Who can honestly think that life is small and chaotic when looking at those myriad spots of light?

1) It’s Awe-some (Literally)
Awe is an emotional state that psychologists know is healthy and positive. Contemplating something so vast and incomprehensible as a star-filled sky, we feel small in the best possible way, parts of a great and infinite whole.

2) It’s Not All Dark
Stargazing is one of nature’s most concrete reminders that even at times of darkness, light persists. The inky blanket of the night sky is never uniform or monolithic. It is always changing, and it is always flecked with sparkling reminders that light can never be entirely extinguished.

3) It Holds Our Gaze
Just as Javert recognized our inability to quantify the enormity of the night sky, scientists for millennia have engaged in an ever-expanding but never-complete quest to learn about the other planets, stars and galaxies that fill the universe. Looking up at the night sky is a constant reminder that exploring, questioning and searching for knowledge is as eternal as the cosmos itself.

What do you think when you look up at the night sky and contemplate what Javert calls “the sentinels…keeping watch in the night?”

3 Positive Aspects of Living Frugally

“Without frugality none can be rich,” wrote the 18th century poet Samuel Johnson, “and with it very few would be poor.”

Of course, despite this inspiring message, not everyone who chooses to live frugally does so intentionally. Life circumstances can make frugality a necessity rather than an option. But whatever your reason for minimizing your spending, frugal living can be part of living a positive life.

Here are three unexpected benefits of living a frugal life:

1) Frugality Is Earth-Conscious
A frugal mindset leaves a smaller carbon footprint than one in which buying new is the go-to way to get needed items. From clothing to natural resources like water and electricity to home decor, making frugal choices gives us daily opportunities to protect our environment rather than endlessly asking it to provide for us.

2) Frugal Living Helps Us Set Priorities
Liz “Frugalwoods,” whose blog chronicles her family’s frugal lifestyle, says her frugality helps her discern what is most worthy of her time, attention and money. “There’s a whole lot that I don’t do and don’t spend money on simply because it doesn’t rise to the level of priority in my life,” she writes. “I know that my time and money are both limited so why fritter either away on stuff that doesn’t bring me happiness?” Frugal living can be a process of elimination of meaningless spending, as well as an investment in a satisfying, meaningful life.

3) Frugality Is the Opposite of Perfectionism
Letting go of perfectionism is a challenge for many of us. If we’re prioritizing frugal living, though, we simply can’t expect perfection, because “perfect” so often means “new.” As Liz quips about her funky turquoise end table, claimed from an online swap group, “I love it! It doesn’t exactly match anything else, it’s kind of an odd shape, and I’m not sure why it’s on wheels, but none of this bothers me in the least…. Stuff is not a stand-in for human emotions, and it doesn’t exist to make you happy. It exists to serve a function. As a recovering perfectionist, I find it liberating to accept—at the outset—that things aren’t always going to work out quite right.”

How does frugal living help you cultivate a positive attitude?

3 Healthy Ways to Miss Someone

Recently, my husband was away for longer than the few days he periodically travels for business. I felt confident in my ability to manage our household on my own, and I knew he would soon return and we would ease back into our daily routines. But there was no way around it, I missed the man!

I took this as a good sign of our loving relationship, but also as a reminder that even so-called “negative” emotions can be part of walking a positive path. This got me thinking about what it means to miss someone in a healthy way.

1) Focus on What You Appreciate About the Person
“Growth in love comes from a place of absence,” says the writer Coco J. Ginger. When someone you care about is not available for the daily check-ins, chats and just moments of quiet presence, your sad feelings reflect just how deeply you appreciate them when you are together.

2) Try Something Unexpected
When my husband was away, I started an art project with my son, experimented with some easy weeknight dinner ideas and did other things inspired by the break in my routine. Playing with new ways of moving through my day had the added benefit of keeping my focus on positive opportunities (rather than just on what was missing) in his absence.

3) Feel Your Feelings
If you have experienced grief and loss in your life, you know that missing someone during a temporary absence is a privilege. But it is still permissible—and important—to acknowledge that when someone is away, you can expect moments in your day when you wish they weren’t. When feelings of sadness or loneliness come up, let yourself experience them, and then visualize them floating away like a cloud across a breezy sky.

What are some healthy ways you cope with missing someone who’s away?

3 Free and Easy Ways to Practice Self-Care

Do you take care of yourself?

It seems like a simple question with an automatic answer. Many of us would say, “Yes, of course.” But what if the follow-up question was, “How? What do you to make sure your needs are being met?”

At its core, that’s what self-care is.

You’ve probably come across the word while reading your favorite glossy lifestyle mag or browsing a popular healthy living blog but for so many people, defining self-care, and actually practicing it, are difficult things to do. Maybe that’s because society has taught us that success is synonymous with happiness, maybe that’s because you were raised to think of others before yourself. Whatever the reason, self-care is something that’s fallen by the wayside for many of us. Fortunately, we’re finally cluing into the positive benefits of looking after ourselves.

What Is Self-Care?

It might be easier to first define what self-care is not. Self-care is not selfishness.

“Many women confuse self-care with being selfish — that somehow taking care of ourselves is self-involvement or a selfish act instead of a self-respectful act,” Helen L. Coons, a clinical health psychologist at the University of Colorado School of Medicine in Aurora, Colorado tells Good Housekeeping. “Self-care is one’s action is around our physical, emotional, relational, perhaps professional, educational, and, for some people, spiritual well-being that reflects the way that we take care of ourselves on the most fundamental levels.”

Self-care is, simply, looking out for your own needs. It’s tuning into the important things in your life, trying to focus on what makes you happy, what brings you stress and adjusting your habits accordingly. Practicing self-care enables you to live a more fully-realized life, to appreciate the gifts you’ve been given, to make room for others. In a sense, self-care is inherently unselfish. By identifying your values, your abilities, and your limitations, you become better equipped to support others.

Why Is Self-Care So Important?

Self-care isn’t just a perk we wish we could afford, it has proven scientific benefits. Being described as a “hard worker” is often thought of as a compliment, but science has proven that overworking yourself leads to all kinds of health problems including exhaustion, anxiety, depression and heart disease. Stretching yourself too thin, forgetting to address your own needs, often leads to a downtick in your emotional well-being which can affect your relationships, and interferes with your moods and your thought patterns.

“The reality is, without taking some time to engage in self-care, you’re burning the candle at both ends. The research is clear: the human brain and body cannot stay focused, productive and effective without taking breaks to recharge,” Clinical psychologist Dr. Chris Friesen tells NBC News.

People who allow themselves breaks throughout the day to recharge, who carve out time to spend by themselves, who dedicate even 15 minutes to doing something they want to do solely for their benefit, are better able to think, communicate, and perform in multiple areas of their lives. The bottom line: self-care makes you a more well-rounded, healthy individual.

How Do You Practice Self-Care?

This is often where the confusion comes in. Self-care is just that, it’s specific to oneself. What makes one person relaxed or happy might not be the same for another. The best way to practice self-care is to identify what brings you joy and set aside time for pursuing it. For some, that means a relaxing massage, an appointment at the salon, a day at the beach, an hour reading your favorite book, a midday nap. For others, it might be a fishing trip, a yoga class, a meditation time, a bike ride in the park. Big or small, whatever activity brings a sense of peace to your hectic day is worth doing and doing often.

Of course, there are plenty of self-care habits that apply to all of us. Eating healthy is a form of self-care. You’re signaling to yourself that, despite lack of time and a busy schedule, you’re invested in nourishing your body. Getting plenty of sleep is another universal form of self-care. According to the American Psychological Association, most Americans would be happier, healthier, and safer if they were to sleep an extra 60 to 90 minutes per night. Gifting your body time to recharge, and your mind to renew itself is one of the easier self-care steps we can all take.

But whatever kind of self-care speaks to you remember, it’s an active decision. You must make time for yourself and to do that, you must fight past obstacles that might stand in your way. For many, that’s guilt. We’ve simply not been taught to think of ourselves first, but by doing so, we’re ultimately better prepared to serve others. Another hurdle is time. We live in a fast-paced world that demands we keep up, but life is also meant to be enjoyed. That’s what self-care can truly teach us. How to enjoy each moment and make the most of it.

3 Easy Ways to Get Overthinking Under Control

There is a set of mistakes that we all make when we get caught up in the spiral of overthinking. First, we tend to assume that the worst case scenario is the most likely to come to pass. Second, we underestimate our ability to handle the catastrophe we are sure is coming our way. And finally, we get caught up in the impression that if we just think about it a little while longer, the problem will somehow solve itself.

When I’m not in an overthinking state of mind, I see so clearly how flawed the logic of rumination is. A ruminator is overconfident in their control of the future (“the worst will happen”) but is equally convinced that they are helpless in the face of their own pending trouble (“I can’t cope”). And then, like a nasty cherry on top of this toxic sundae, comes the false commitment to the idea that more ruminating is the answer!

When a cycle of overthinking takes hold, it is all too easy to forget about logic and wisdom, though. So how are we to break free? These three techniques have helped me.

1) Create a Thought-Swap
When you recognize your hyper-vigilance on a topic that’s not getting better with more thought, swap it out for a neutral or positive thought that can occupy your mind and reset your thinking. For example, instead of going over a tense conversation you had with a neighbor over and over again, visualize the spring bulbs you hope will pop up in your garden.

2) Think, Plan and Do
Thoughts that get us stuck in rumination are usually abstract, unlikely to send us in the direction of a thoughtful, grounded action. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, the chair of the department of psychology at Yale University and the author of Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life, told Medium, “Instead of ‘I’m stuck in my career,’ tell yourself or better still write, ‘I want a job where I feel more engaged.’ Then make a plan to expand your skills, network and look for opportunities for a better career.”

3) Look Realistically at Probabilities
Are you sure that your new friend is going to stop talking to you? How do you know your boss thinks you’re slipping at work? What is the likelihood that your upcoming trip will be delayed by the weather? Ask yourself these questions with the precision of a scientist looking for data. The weather might be likely to disrupt your plans—so what is your plan B if that happens? With the friend or boss, likelihood might be hard to accurately identify. So ask yourself what other possible outcomes of the current moment are—and how you would be able to handle yourself if any of them came to pass.

Are you an overthinker? What helps you slow and calm down?

3 Easy Self-Massage Techniques to Calm Your Body and Mind

“Self-care” could be a contender for the word of the year, as the pandemic and other stressors linger. Self-care is sometimes associated with salons, spas and retreats. But to truly care for yourself does not require an appointment, a fee or special equipment.

Really, all you need to do to practice self-care is to decide to do something nurturing, refreshing and loving for yourself. Enter self-massage. In a very short period of time—as little as 30 seconds to two minutes—you can signal your mind and body to relax and release tension and pain. Because it’s such a small investment of time, you can easily practice self-massage a few times a day to reinforce its benefits.

Start with these three techniques to soothe places in your body where stress tends to settle.

1) Belly Rub

Lie down comfortably on the floor and take a few slow, deep breaths. With your palm or fingertips, begin to rub your belly in a clockwise circle, starting at your lower-right pelvic bone, moving up over your belly button, and then back down and around. Move slowly and steadily, pressing more or less deeply as your body allows. This technique can encourage smooth digestion and encourage the “knots” that form in your stomach to release.

2) ​Neck Soother

Necks have a very important job—they’re tasked with holding up our heads, and the precious brains therein. No wonder tension often creeps into the muscles around our necks and into the occipitals, a set of tiny muscles that connect the top of the spine to the skull. The Cleveland Clinic recommends a little exploratory work to find out where your tension is bunched up, anywhere from the very bottom of your hairline on either side of your spine, to the muscles that flow away from your neck toward your shoulders. Use your fingertips or a tennis ball to find and press the tight area, applying even pressure for a few minutes. Repeat three times a day.

3) Foot Freedom

Your feet carry you through the day. Thank them with a soothing rub by sitting comfortably on a chair and resting one foot on the opposite knee. Grasp each toe and gently rotate it clockwise and then counter-clockwise. Before moving on to the next toe, give your toe a gentle tug to align and release it. Finish by firmly grasping each side of your foot with your hands and rubbing from side to side.

3 Benefits of Incorporating Exercise into Your Daily Routine

When it comes to exercise, the biggest challenge people face is consistency.

Fitting your new exercise routine into a hectic lifestyle can be tough, but possible; whether choosing to wake up earlier or replacing TV time with physical activity, you’re well on your way to reaping the benefits of staying active.

In addition to achieving your fitness goals, following a consistent workout routine plays a big role in creating a healthier lifestyle.

Here are three benefits of keeping up with a regular exercise plan.

Provides Consistency

A consistent workout plan helps build endurance and leads to better sleep quality, less stress and an improved mood. According to Healthline, a study in which 26 healthy men and women who exercised regularly and were asked to either continue or stop their workouts for two weeks, showed that “those who stopped exercising experienced increases in negative mood.”

You’re also less likely to fall off the exercise wagon when you incorporate a fitness plan into your daily schedule. By adding it to your routine, it becomes a realistic part of your life. Choose specific days and times for your physical activity and stick to them. You’ll no longer have to worry about finding time to exercise, if it’s already on your to-do list.

Achieves Work-Life Balance

When you have a good fitness plan, you’re less likely to feel conflicted between your personal life and your work life. According to The Huffington Post, consistent exercise boosts your levels of self-efficacy, the confidence to get things done. It helps you attain the physical and mental endurance you need to persevere through your day-to-day.

Saint Leo University management professor, Russell Clayton, discussed his research findings of a positive relationship between physical activity and work-home life management. “Through its direct impact on increased self-efficacy and reduced psychological strain, exercise leads to better integration of professional and personal lives,” he said.

Provides Structure and Discipline

Having a workout schedule sets guidelines and expectations that lead to a better, structured life. Everything is laid out for you so you’re not wondering what to do next and in turn, save time for other things on your to-do list.

Keeping up with your fitness will also help you become more disciplined. You’ll find yourself having more control of your day with a stronger focus set on accomplishing your goals.

20 Tips for College Graduates

It started with a meow.

On a hot Saturday in Brooklyn, I was about to begin my afternoon run when I heard it: “Meow.” A slim black-and-white cat was staring up at me from the sidewalk. I feed the cats in my neighborhood. This one was shy, always hanging back and waiting for me to leave before eating. Today she seemed different, insistent about something.

“Meow!”

“What is it?” I asked. “Are you hungry?”

Suddenly she darted down the driveway, stopping next to my car. She meowed again. That’s when I noticed a black lump on the ground. It looked like one of the shingles that sometimes blew off the roof in a storm.

“Meow!” It wasn’t a shingle. It was a kitten! His fur was a dusty black with several patches missing. Both his eyes were closed, crusted over with some kind of nasty gunk.

Good thing I had my running shoes on. I ran inside to fetch a dish towel from the kitchen, scooped up the weak little guy and left him bundled in a shoebox on the floor of my bathroom. Then I ran to the pet store for kitten formula and a bottle. I spent the rest of the day with the kitten in my lap, feeding and cleaning him up. He looked even worse up close. The gunk sealing his eyes shut was greenish—probably infected. I used cotton balls dipped in warm water to wipe the layers away. When he was finally able to crack open one watery eye, he fixed me with what I know was a grateful gaze. Me? I fell in love.

The next day, the vet confirmed that the kitten was only about four weeks old and his eyes were definitely infected. Soon, with the help of an antibiotic and regular feedings, he started to look like a real cat. I didn’t name him at first, thinking I probably wouldn’t keep him. I was a recent college grad, living in my grandfather’s house with my cousin and juggling freelance writing jobs. Who knows where I’d be living in a few months or if I could even afford to take care of this cat?

Yet I didn’t know if I could bear to give him away. We had a connection. “He and I are from the same neighborhood!” I told my friends, only partly joking. “From the same block, even!” I grew up in the house across the street from my grandfather’s. The kitten and I had both started our lives in Brooklyn, on Desmond Court. Desmond…

I don’t think Desmond—Des, for short—thought he wasn’t mine, even for a minute. Over the past year, he’s grown into a friendly, talkative cat, one that even self-professed dog people have been won over by.

And the cat that brought me to him? I haven’t seen her around much since. I’ve often wondered if Des was her kitten or if she just sensed he needed help and knew who to call. All I know is, I was the one who was called. There was definitely a reason for that. Des and I were meant to be.

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20 Tips for a Positive New Year

1. Stay positive.
You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can know that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.

2. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement:
My purpose is_______________________.

3. Take a morning walk of gratitude.
I call it a “thank you walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

4. Instead of being disappointed about where you are…
…think optimistically about where you are going.

5. Eat…
…breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

6. Remember that…
…adversity is not a dead-end but a detour to a better outcome.

7. Focus on…
…learning, loving, growing and serving.

8. Believe that everything happens for a reason.
Expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.

9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

10. Mentor someone…
…and be mentored by someone.

11. Live with the 3 E’s.
Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.

12. Remember…
…there’s no substitute for hard work.

13. Zoom focus.
Each day when you wake up in the morning ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions.

14. Implement the NoComplainingRule.
Complaining is like vomiting. Afterwards you feel better but everyone around you feels sick.

15. Read more books than you did in 2010.
I happen to know of a few good ones!

16. Get more sleep.
You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.

17. Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.
Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.

18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for __________.

Today I accomplished____________.

19. Smile and laugh more.
They are natural anti-depressants.

20. Enjoy the ride.
You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.

READ MORE: THE IDEAL NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION