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God’s Gift of Summer and Family Time

Summer is that amazing time of tantalizing aromas from the grill, softball games in the backyard, lazy days at the beach and, most important,extended time with family and friends.

At least that’s how it should be, but many of us get so busy that we neglect those memory-making moments. It’s not intentional, but it sometimes gets shoved to the side.

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Often we as parents forget something of vital importance—God’s given us just 18 summers with our children before they leave home for college. That’s 18 short summers that will zoom by whether we’re ready or not. So don’t waste this precious time. Don’t look back with sadness, not memories, because those days can’t be done over.

As I wrote in my novel, Just 18 Summers, “Sometimes the days will feel really long . . . but just remember, the years are really short.”

Read More: Building Stronger Families

And that’s why family vacations and reunions are so valuable. They’re a time to bond with your immediate family—cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents—and even with extended family you’ve never met before. They’re an opportunity to discover physical similarities and mannerisms and traits that you all have in common.

Family get-togethers are a time to share stories and photos from the past, to talk about those who are no longer here, to give your children and grandchildren a sense of their history.

They’re also a great opportunity to talk about your spiritual heritage as a family, to let your children see how faith and family have been important from one generation to another.

And family reunions are the perfect time to pull out favorite old recipes, to share laughter and make memories over a plate of Aunt Betty’s potato salad, Uncle Bob’s famous smoked pork barbeque, Grandpa’s custard-based home-churned ice cream and Granny Bessie’s oh-so-delicious fried apple pies.

So plan a family vacation this summer or attend your family reunion. Yes, it takes work, time and dollars, but the benefits of building a close bond with your family is priceless.

Store all those precious memories in your heart, because someday when your children are grown and gone from your home, you’ll look back and be so glad that you took the time to make them.

God Is Madly in Love with You

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Be honest. Do you have a picture of your adorable dog or cute kitty in your wallet or possibly on your phone?

Did you put your pretty pooch’s or fierce feline’s photo on your holiday cards last year? Do you find yourself telling funny stories about your doggie or cat? That’s just how proud parents behave. We can’t help ourselves, can we?

I’m guilty of this. I often post pictures of Mollie Mae, our adorable, chubby dachshund, on Facebook. I love to share funny stories about her antics, and I gravitate toward all things dachshund. I also love to buy presents for Mollie. Just last week I bought her a new blinged-out collar–purple with rhinestones. She looks so cute in it, and she knows it!

Bottom line, we love to dote on our kids–even the canine and feline ones. Well, guess what? That’s exactly how God is. He is a doting parent, too. If he had a “Daddy’s Brag Book,” our pictures would be in it! And just like I couldn’t wait to buy Mollie Mae a new blinged-out collar, God loves to give his children good gifts. The Bible says, “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:13).

So many people fail to realize that God truly loves them. It doesn’t matter where you came from or what you’ve done, God loves you! My friend Victoria Osteen often says, “God isn’t mad at you. He is madly in love with you.” That’s good, isn’t it? In fact, God adores us–flaws and all. He loves us when we behave badly. He loves us when we disobey him. He loves us even when we don’t love ourselves. God loves us no matter what.

I’m so thankful that God’s love for me isn’t performance-based, much like my love for Mollie Mae isn’t based on her ability (or lack of ability) to shake paw or roll over on command. We don’t love our dogs because they are the smartest or the cutest or the bravest. We don’t love our pets because they do great feats on our behalf. We love them simply because they are ours. I’m so thankful that my heavenly Father loves me with an unconditional love simply because I belong to Him; aren’t you?

Take time today and thank God for loving you with an unconditional love. Pray, Father, I just want to praise you right now for loving me the way that you do. I am so thankful that I belong to you. Amen. Meditate on the vastness of God’s love for you today, and let him know just how much you love him. And while you’re at it, give your pets some extra TLC today, as well.

God Has Given Us a Precious Gift

School was out for the summer, and my girls were pretty excited about it.

Unfortunately, I was on a crazy tight book deadline and knew I wouldn’t be able to give them my undivided attention for a couple of weeks. As I typed away at my desk in the sunroom, Ally ate peanut butter crackers while watching Barney & Friends, and Abby sat on the floor next to my desk, coloring pictures in her new art book. After typing the last word to the chapter I was working on, I noticed Ab, even closer to my desk now.

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“What are you drawing?” I asked my artsy 7-year-old.

“Pictures of our family,” she said, still coloring.

“Can I see it?” I asked in my fun Mommy voice.

Abby nodded and showed me her masterpiece. The picture featured Daddy playing a board game with her and Ally but I wasn’t in the picture.

“That’s very good, Ab,” I encouraged. “But where am I?”

Without missing a beat, she flipped the page and said, “There you are, Mommy.”

She had drawn me sitting at my desk, typing at my computer, all by myself.

That’s when it hit me: That’s how she sees me. I was the disconnected parent, on a different page in her life. I immediately shut down my computer, had a good cry, and promised God and my children that I would get my priorities in order. Thankfully, the girls were only 5 and 7 at the time when I got my wakeup call, so I didn’t waste any more precious summers. Now that my girls are 19 and 21, and Jeff and I are empty nesters, I would give anything for just one more summer with my girls.

Maybe that’s why when fellow author and friend Michelle Cox shared with me her idea of “Just 18 Summers,” I teared up as I heard her heart. Her vision for the “Just 18 Summers” brand came about after a baby dedication at her church. As her pastor finished up, he said to the parents, “Don’t forget–you have just 18 summers. Take time to make some memories.” Those words resonated with Cox. She was at the end of her 18 summers with her youngest son and knew how quickly the time had passed, even though she had made an effort as a family to have fun and make memories with all three of her sons.

While Cox first thought “Just 18 Summers” would just be a gift book, she soon discovered that God had much bigger plans. In April, the novel Just 18 Summers, written by Cox and Rene Gutteridge debuted, and has since won the Class Kudos Fiction Book-of-the-Year Award. It’s the first product of many, as Cox is currently developing an entire brand based on the “Just 18 Summers” concept, including: a screenplay, a complete line of books and products, curriculum for churches and music. In addition, Cox felt compelled to start a parenting blog this past January to encourage parents to make the most of those precious moments with their kiddos, as well as crafts and activities to do with your children so you can make the most of those precious moments.

“It’s a gentle wakeup call to remind parents that God has given us this precious gift, and those children will only be under our roofs for such a short time… Take it from a mama whose sons are all grown now, someday you’d give a million dollars to walk down the hall one more time and tuck your children into bed, to kneel down and pray with them, to hear their footsteps and the sound of their laughter filling the house,” Cox shares.

You don’t have to plan an expensive trip to Disney to make memories with your children, according to Cox. Making play dough in the kitchen or creating a giant checkerboard in the backyard will do the trick.

“These don’t have to be big trips or expensive things,” she says. “Sometimes big memories come from the little moments.”

Let’s make the most of those moments this summer and the rest of the year, as well. Because as Cox reminds us, our children won’t be around forever.

God Calls Us by Name

One of the most enjoyable parts of getting a pet is choosing a name. We try different ones on our tongue, perhaps gather the family and take a poll, or say them aloud and let the cat or dog choose.

This week is National Pet ID Week–a time to make sure your pet’s name and contact information is readily accessible should your pet become lost and to spread the word about having your pet properly identified with a tag and/or microchip.

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As I was thinking about this, I also began to think of the importance of the pet names we choose. Some are based on appearance–Rusty, Marshmallow, Patches, Tigger. Others choose a name according to personality–Zippy or Angel.

My first dog was named Happy because even though he’d been abandoned, he always wagged his tail. I’m drawn to nature names like River and Daisy, or opposite names, such as Hercules for a tiny Chihuahua, or Buttercup for a burly mastiff.

Did you know that more than 50% of pet parents choose a human first name for their pet? My husband and I named dogs after historic figures in our town. Our Dalmatian was named Schuyler after Pieter Schuyler, the first mayor of Albany, New York. And our golden retriever Brooks was named after Ten Breock (pronounced Brook), a founding family in the area.

READ MORE: NO GIFTS, PLEASE. JUST COMPASSION.

Considering what we call our pets got me thinking about how God calls each of us by name too.

But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the One who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are Mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

Not only does He know our names, but He calls us by some other very special names as well. He calls us beloved, sons and daughters, his heirs and the apple of His eye.

God calls us by name because we are special to Him. We can rest confidently in His loving care.

God Adores You!

Recently, a friend of mine messaged me on Facebook and said, “I just have to tell you–Abby is so awesome. She has blessed my daughter so much.”

She went on to share how Abby had worked with her daughter for several hours, teaching her a cheer for cheerleading tryouts and encouraging her every step of the way. And, when my friend tried to pay Abby for her time, Ab wouldn’t accept it.

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Abby in her cheerleading outfit.My friend ended her message, saying: “Abby is beautiful inside and out, and such a great role model for my daughter. Thanks for sharing her with us.”

Of course, as Abby’s mom, I was thrilled to hear such wonderful comments about my daughter. I’ve always believed she was gorgeous inside and out, but it’s really nice to know that others agree with me.

She really is a good girl.

I am proud of both of my daughters. I see their special talents and gifts, and I see how important they are to our family and the family of God. Sure, there are some areas where they could improve but those improvements wouldn’t make me love them more than I already do, because I just flat adore them.

When I look at Abby and Ally, I can’t help but see them as precious gifts. The Scriptures tell us that children are a gift from God, and I can say “Amen” to that truth.

I’m sure you feel the same way about your kiddos.

Well, guess Who else feels that way?

Our Heavenly Father.

I think sometimes we forget that God is our Heavenly Father and that we are His precious children. We are the very seed of God! We were birthed out of God when He made us in His own image and breathed life into us. He is our Abba Father. He says that we are the apple of His eye.

In fact, He loves us so much that we are constantly on His mind. That’s what it means when it says in the Scriptures that God is mindful of us:

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:3-4, NIV)

Dictionary.com defines “mindful” as attentive, so we might say that God has “an attentive kind of love” for us. He doesn’t just love us, He loves us so much that He can’t stop thinking about us.

When you truly grasp those truths, they will forever change you. You won’t be able to feel badly about yourself ever again because you will have an assurance that you are adored and wanted and loved by the Creator of the Universe.

Ponder that for a moment–Almighty God is thinking about you right now. What do you believe He is thinking about you? Is He thinking about your mistakes, your failures, your shortcomings?

No, God’s thoughts toward you are good! He’s not thinking about what you did wrong; He’s thinking about what you did right! He is thinking about how far you’ve come and how much more He has in store for you.

If you’re a parent, you have probably looked at your children and thought, “You’ve got your whole life before you. You are awesome! You have so many good gifts on the inside of you. I can’t wait for you to experience all that God has for you.”

Well, that’s what God is thinking when He looks at you.

He is saying today, “You are awesome! You have so many good gifts inside you. I can’t wait for you to experience all that I have for you.”

Let those truths sink down into your heart and receive His love today.

Pray this with me:

Father, I love You and I am so thankful that You love me, too. Thank You for always being mindful of me and always seeing the best in me. Help me to be mindful of Your unconditional love and to receive it even when I feel unworthy. By faith, I receive Your love today. In the Mighty Name of Your Son, Jesus, Amen.

Get Your Kids Involved in The Great Kindness Challenge

Clicking around before work this morning, I discovered greatkindnesschallenge.org. The Great Kindness Challenge invites kids to do as many simple, kind deeds as possible all day this coming Saturday, August 14. There’s a checklist to make it easy and fun.

Things like feed the birds, push someone on a swing (me!), say good morning to five people, do a chore without being asked (yesssss). Imagine all the little angels we’ll have running around this weekend. Imagine if kindness becomes their habit. Imagine if it becomes ours…

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Download your free ebook Angel Sightings: 7 Inspirational Stories About Heavenly Angels and Everyday Angels on Earth.

Gaining His Adopted Daughter’s Trust

For a moment I stood in the doorway of our daughter’s room, watching 18-month-old Dari and my wife, Molly, playing with blocks. Dari looked so happy.

I’d tried hard to turn the room into a little girl’s dreamscape when I knew she was coming. I’d refinished my old dresser, put up shelves that we filled with toys and books, even painted my first mural—a pink castle on lavender walls.

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I took a deep breath, walked in and sat on the floor next to her. Molly nodded at me. Be gentle, I reminded myself. Speak softly.

Dari tried to stack the blocks. They tumbled over. Her brow furrowed.

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“Can I build a castle with you?” I asked. I picked up a block.

Dari bolted across the room. She didn’t want anything to do with me. Just like the day she arrived.

A few weeks earlier, Dari’s social worker had brought her to our family directly from the courthouse. Molly and I had two sons, Dash, 16, and Phineas, 5. We wanted a third child, and we both felt strongly about all the kids out there who needed a home. We decided to adopt out of foster care.

We knew that our new daughter was on the way, but we hadn’t expected her this soon. There was supposed to be a gradual transition. Visits, so she could get used to us before she moved in permanently. But the judge declared Dari’s foster home unsafe. She needed to be placed in her adoptive home immediately.

Molly and I had taken all the classes our adoption agency offered. We learned about how difficult bonding can be for a child who has been traumatized by neglect, poverty, a caregiver’s instability. I’d read books and articles on the internet on parenting traumatized children, watched educational videos, asked our teachers plenty of questions. I could handle this.

I knew something about childhood trauma. My dad had been my hero. He took my sister and me to the movies every Saturday. He had the patience to play catch with us for hours. I was proud to be his right-hand man when he did repairs around the house.

I loved waiting on the front porch for him to get home from his job as a welder. He’d give me a bear hug, then go inside, take my mom in his arms and dance her around the house. An idyllic childhood.

Until my dad got mugged, when I was seven. He was beaten badly. He survived, but barely. He spent months in the hospital, then went into a rehabilitation facility. Two years later, he finally came home.

He wasn’t the same man. He was permanently disabled, his personality changed by a traumatic brain injury. He couldn’t play catch or dance with Mom anymore. The dad I knew was gone. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t wait to become a dad myself, to make up for what I’d lost.

Dari and I had something in common. I could relate to her pain. I thought it wouldn’t be hard for us to connect. That first day her big brown eyes went to the boys, then settled on Molly, who knelt and flung her arms wide. Within seconds Dari was snuggled in her embrace.

Dash introduced himself and stuck out his hand. She shook it. Phineas gave her a stuffed toy bear. She held it tightly to her chest, the corners of her mouth turning up in a shy smile.

Finally she looked at me. Her stare was intense.

I stepped closer and gave her my warmest smile. “Hello, sweetheart,” I said. “I’m so happy that you’re here.”

Dari winced. Those big eyes narrowed. She turned away and buried her face in my wife’s shoulder.

I’d scared her!

Was I too loud? I have a deep, booming voice that can fill a gymnasium. In fact, I used to work as a sports announcer. Was it my size? I’m six foot four and a big guy. My exuberance? I’d coached boys’ volleyball for years and was used to motivating my players.

I tried to tone things down around Dari. I spoke softly to her, moved gently. I respected her space and didn’t automatically grab her hand or lift her onto my lap.

The boys and their friends thought I was a fun dad. I’d shoot hoops with them, talk in funny voices that got them all laughing, even bust a dance move or two. But nothing I knew about connecting with kids worked with our new daughter.

Molly tried to reassure me. “She’ll warm up to you.”

Really? I wondered now as Dari eyed me warily from the other side of her room. That was about the only thing I’d gotten right with her. She loved her room. She just didn’t like for me to be in it.

“That’s your daddy,” I heard Molly say as I got up and left the room. “He loves you.”

God, can you help a guy out here? I asked. I’m doing all I can! Not a great prayer, but an honest one. I was stuck.

By the time she’d been with us six weeks, Dari had adjusted well to our home and our family—mostly. She ran to the boys when they got home from school. She’d been calling Molly “Mommy” almost since the first moment she heard Phineas say it. But she still cringed when I spoke. There was no calling me “Daddy.” No hugs or smiles for me.

One afternoon Molly asked me to take Dari with me while I ran errands.

“Just the two of us?” I asked.

“It’ll be a good chance to bond,” Molly said.

I parked at the bank. I unbuckled Dari from her car seat and set her gently on the sidewalk. Instead of pulling away, she wrapped her little hand around my index finger. I had the biggest grin on my face when we walked inside together.

The teller gave her a lollipop. Dari was so excited she stuck it right in her mouth, wrapper and all.

“Uh-oh,” I said. “Let me help you with that, honey.” I took the lollipop.

The wail she let out! I could feel people glaring at me. Did they think I’d hurt her? Did she?

“It’s okay, honey,” I whispered in her ear. “I just have to take off the wrapper. See?” I handed the lollipop back to her.

She popped it in her mouth, but the wariness had returned to her eyes. Whatever progress we’d made, I’d just pushed the reset button. We were back to Day One.

That night I told Molly about the fiasco at the bank, how I’d literally taken candy from a baby. “It’s like I remind her of someone. Someone awful,” I said. “But I can’t change the way I look, who I am. What if Dari never learns to trust me?”

“She will,” Molly said. “You’re there for her. That’s all God asks of you right now. Don’t force it.”

Forcing it. That’s exactly what I’d been doing. Trying to make Dari like me, instead of letting her come around in her own time, in God’s time.

One evening a couple of weeks later I was dancing with Molly in the kitchen, the way my dad used to do with my mom. Our sons never bothered to watch, but I caught Dari peeking at us, smiling. Should I let on that I saw her?

Dari really liked music and dancing. Phineas would play CDs for her, and they’d rock ’n’ roll. Was this my big chance?

“Come dance with me!” I said. I held out my hand to her.

Dari startled and burst into tears. Molly stepped out of my arms and picked Dari up, rubbing her back to calm her.

I looked on, feeling like a failure. The last thing I wanted was to traumatize Dari further. I wanted to be her daddy. Her protector. In your time, Lord, not mine, I reminded myself.

The next day I was getting Phineas ready to go to soccer practice at the park. “I need to get some things done,” Molly said. “Can you take Dari?”

I wanted to take her. There was a playground near the soccer field. We could have fun. If only…

“Sure,” I said. Phineas would be there, and Dari didn’t seem to mind me so much if someone else in the family was around.

At the park Phineas ran off to practice. I looked at Dari. “Want to go to the play set?” I asked.

She nodded. There were some little girls her age playing. Soon Dari was jumping around and laughing with them. I wish I could make her laugh like that.

I looked over at the soccer field to see how Phineas was doing. Then I heard a loud male voice. A dad shouting at his girls on the play set.

That would scare Dari. I turned to look for her. Her lip trembled and she started sobbing.

I didn’t think. I just held out my arms. She jumped into them.

“Daddy!” she cried.

I wrapped my arms around her. She nestled her face into my neck and held on tight. “It’s okay,” I whispered.

Dari’s tears stopped. She pulled back a bit and met my eyes. I didn’t see fear. I saw trust. Love.

“That’s right,” I said. “Daddy’s here.”

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From Her Window

Meet Barbara Higgins of Springfield, Vermont. She finds inspiration in a wonderful hobby that anyone at any age can do…birdwatching.

Barbara has always enjoyed nature, but it wasn’t until after retirement that she found the time to really study birds.

To attract a wide variety, she has a unique feeding station outside her kitchen window. Her husband attached six spokes to a metal pole which he anchored in the ground, and then hooked up to an old TV rotary antenna. (“Probably nobody under the age of 50 or 60 will know what that is,” quips Barbara.)

The TV antenna bird feeder. Photo by Barbara K. Higgins.The antenna motor sits on the kitchen counter and can be used to rotate the spokes so that Barbara can fill the various feeders right from the window, without ever having to go outside!

“Folks who visit us are amazed at this contraption, and say ‘Only in Vermont!’” says Barbara. She feeds the birds year round and has a heated bird bath that keeps ice from forming. (Vermont’s winter temperatures can dip as low as 22 degrees below zero.)

The feeders have attracted more than 60 different species of birds including robins, warblers, sparrows, juncos, mourning doves, downy woodpeckers, orioles, finches, cardinals, blue birds and blue jays. Living close to the Connecticut River, she’s also seen snow geese, cormorants, tundra swan, and great blue herons. And she’s even seen bald eagles!  

Watching birds helps Barbara feel closer to God’s creation. She likes studying their behavior and how they communicate. “I’ve learned that birds are survivors. They’re opportunists, architects and great providers for their young.”

A sleeping American goldfinch. Photo by Barbara K. Higgins.“One thing they’ve taught me is the wisdom of saving for hard times,” she says. Barbara has noticed that birds often have to work hard to survive. “It makes me feel humble that all of us humans, for the most part, have life pretty easy by comparison. No matter our religious beliefs, we need to be thankful for that.”

A 35mm camera with a good zoom lens is kept at the handy. “I love taking photographs of the birds and use my photos to make greeting cards instead of purchasing them. I think it adds a more personal touch and most of my family and friends enjoying receiving them. I call my cards, From My Window.”

Other wonderful creatures of God that sometimes visit Barbara are bears, moose, deer, raccoons, red fox, otters, mink, woodchucks,and beavers.

Watching nature has surely been an inspiration…right outside her window.

Friends Share Gift for Life

HAYLEE
Something was wrong. I could tell by the sound of her voice. “Jenni, what’s going on?” I asked.

Jenni and I had been good friends since we were little girls. Our families met at church here in Ohio and we went to the same middle school and high school, even college.

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I married Ryan after graduation, and Jenni lived just down the street. When she met Octavian, we were thrilled. He fit right in with us.

Then Octavian landed a great teaching job out in Colorado. I was sad when they moved away. Jenni and I would talk on the phone, though, and she usually sounded so happy. What had changed?

“Octavian lost his job,” Jenni said, sighing. It was January 2011. There was no way Octavian could find another teaching job so late in the school year. Ryan and I knew what we had to do. But would our friends go for it?

JENNI
For once I couldn’t speak. I’m usually the impulsive one, but this…was Haylee crazy?

“We have the bedroom in the basement,” she said. “Move in with us. Just till Octavian finds another job.”

I told her I’d think about it. But I knew it was impossible. We had two kids. They had three. There was no way nine people could live comfortably in a 2,000-square-foot house. We’d just have to tough it out in Colorado.

By May, Octavian hadn’t found a job and we needed a solution fast. Haylee’s plan still seemed crazy, but we were running out of options.

“It’s too much to ask,” Octavian said.

But the Creccos wouldn’t let it go. In June, Haylee flew out to Colorado for my sister’s wedding. At the reception Haylee talked to Octavian and me about logistics.

“Trust me,” she said. “Ryan and I have thought this through. We’ve totally prayed about it. We want to do this.”

So that July, we packed up a U-Haul and drove to Ohio. I was still uneasy. How would we ever make this work?

HAYLEE
We had a game plan. The Maianus would get the downstairs bedroom and bathroom. We’d stay upstairs and share the master bathroom with our kids. That first night, the kids were so excited to be with their friends under the same roof. It was one big sleepover.

The next morning, we all woke up at different times. Our families had different schedules and habits, and we’d have to get used to that. That night for dinner, though, all nine of us squeezed in around the table, my elbow almost in Jenni’s plate.

Octavian grabbed Ryan’s hand. “Let’s say grace,” he said. We held hands and gave thanks to God. After that, we ate dinner together almost every night.

JENNI
Haylee and Ryan didn’t want us to feel like guests, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to disrupt their routine. My kids were high-energy, sometimes practically bouncing off the walls. Haylee worked from home.

So while Octavian was at the library researching jobs, I tried to get out of the house with the kids to give Haylee some quiet time. I even found part-time jobs at my son’s kindergarten and our church nursery during the week.

Still, we were a distraction. At one point, both of my kids had to have their tonsils removed. Two adults and two sick kids in a small room with no windows–that was rough.

One night my two-year-old, Gabby, was in such pain, she wouldn’t stop wailing. I’m so sorry about the noise! I texted Haylee from the basement. I wouldn’t blame her if she was annoyed. Instead, she ran downstairs and asked what she could do.

We never expected to stay longer than a month or two. But after six months, nothing had panned out for Octavian. He was hoping to work in higher education. I just wanted him to find something, anything. It was hard for me to rely so much on others, even our best friends.

HAYLEE
It wasn’t a bed of roses. We had to parent together. If one set of kids couldn’t have dessert after dinner, it wasn’t fair if the other set could. There were scraped knees and tantrums and homework problems.

Eventually, though, we settled into a routine. We took turns cooking meals. Ryan and Octavian read to the kids at bedtime and dropped them off at school (and then snuck off for doughnuts!).

Jenni and I staged epic laundry-folding sessions in the family room. Pretty soon, we knew each other’s socks and T-shirts inside and out.

We had plenty of fun too, from Dr. Seuss Night to frosting fights. Whenever we needed space, Ryan and I would take the kids out for dinner. Or the Maianus would visit family for the weekend.

We’d never discussed a timeline, but we didn’t need to. Ryan and I just couldn’t shake the feeling that God wanted the Maianus to stay with us, that he wanted us to do life together.

It was like one of our favorite Scriptures, I John 3:18, said: “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” I even wrote that verse on our kitchen chalkboard as a reminder.

JENNI
Nine months in, I was running out of hope. Day after day, Octavian sent out résumés. He didn’t get so much as an e-mail back. The stress of it all, both financial and emotional, was getting to me.

“We can’t stay here forever,” I whispered to Octavian one night, after the kids had fallen asleep.

“It won’t be forever,” he said. “God has a plan.”

I wondered about that. Sometimes my faith felt as small as a mustard seed.

One day in December, Octavian put on his best suit, marched into the office of one of the deans at Kent State University and persuaded the dean to give him an interview. It went well, and for his second-round interview, the school asked him to prepare a presentation.

Ryan, Haylee and I helped him rehearse in the living room, throwing our toughest questions at him. Our hard work paid off. In February 2012 Octavian got a job as a student-services advisor at the university. He’d even get to work on his doctorate tuition-free.

We started looking for houses and found a place just four miles from the Creccos. House-hunting was a long process, but I thought I could finally breathe again.

Wrong.

HAYLEE
A week after Octavian got the job, Ryan went in for some routine dental work and found out that his blood pressure was through the roof. He’d always been physically fit; he had to be, to work as a contractor. Lately, though, he’d been tired, sluggish, even. He went to the doctor for tests.

The results were a total shock. Ryan’s kidneys were failing–operating at only 30 percent. The doctors couldn’t explain it, but eventually he’d need a kidney transplant. “This feels like a death sentence,” Ryan said.

I tried to handle it. But I’d get on my knees to pray and end up flat on our bedroom floor. If it hadn’t been for Jenni and Octavian, I don’t know what I would have done. “We’re here for you guys,” they told me. “The way you’ve been here for us.”

And they were. If we got stuck at the hospital, Jenni and Octavian went grocery shopping, helped the kids with homework, made dinner. Even when they moved out, that May, they were never far.

By Christmas, Ryan’s kidney function fell to 14 percent. He needed a transplant, the sooner the better. No one in our immediate family could donate because of age or health problems.

We told folks at church, and I posted messages online, asking friends to be tested as potential donors. Please, Lord, I asked, let there be a good match.

The transplant coordinator at the Cleveland Clinic actually asked me to tell people to stop calling–they’d been flooded with potential donor requests. I was overwhelmed.

JENNI
I couldn’t believe what the coordinator from the Cleveland Clinic was saying. “You’re the number one donor match,” she said. I texted Octavian right away. His reply left me stunned–he was the number two match!

Out of all those people, we were the best candidates…what were the chances?

Octavian, Jenni, Ryan and Haylee at the hospital before the operationWhen I told Haylee, she couldn’t stop crying. I texted Ryan next: I’m going to be a pain in your side the rest of your life, buddy! Octavian wasn’t so sure. “I’m going to be the one to do this,” he said, looking over all the transplant forms and papers. “I just have this feeling.”

He was right. The doctors discovered that I had kidney stones, so I was taken off the donor list. Octavian, though, was pronounced the perfect donor. And just in time. Ryan was now doing dialysis four times a day. Still, he didn’t want to pressure Octavian.

“You don’t owe me,” Ryan said. “This is a much bigger deal than sharing a house.”

It wasn’t a simple decision for Octavian. He’s not impulsive like me. We had the kids to think about. He did his research, talked to the surgeons, prayed about it. Then he was sure. “Don’t think of this as a gift from me,” he told Ryan. “It’s a gift from God.”

HAYLEE
The morning of the surgery, August 20, 2013, we drove to pick the Maianus up from their house. I had two people to worry about now–my husband and his best friend.

The four of us stood in the driveway. Ryan grabbed Octavian’s hand. One by one, we bowed our heads and prayed, just like we’d done so many times at the dinner table.

JENNI
The transplant was a success. It took Octavian a couple of months to get back on his feet. Like any recipient, Ryan monitors his health closely. But so far, so good. He’s back at work, strong as ever.

Whatever happens next, I know Haylee and Ryan will be right there, doing life with us. Like Octavian said right before he was wheeled to the operating room, “The four of us–we’re going to grow old together!” God’s love in action.

Watch this video for more about the Creccos and Maianus!

 

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Friends Forever

I once read a poster that said: “Good friends are like stars…You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.” I like that—especially because it perfectly describes my friendships with Angie and Raegan.

Angie and I became friends on the first day of kindergarten. A little unsure of myself, I asked my mother how to make friends on that first day of school. She suggested I go up to another little girl and simply introduce myself. Sounded good to me, so I gave it a shot.

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I saw Angie Massette across the room. I eyeballed her all during milk break, and then I marched right over to her and uttered: “Hi. My name is Missy (my nickname) Medlock. Would you be my friend?”

Friends forever--Michelle and Raegan.Angie looked at me as if I’d lost my ever-loving mind. Still, she must have taken pity on the little girl with pigtails that were too tight and a faint, red Kool-Aid mustache because she answered, “Sure.”

The rest, as they say, is history. We became best friends that day, and we’ve been friends ever since. Sure, we’ve had other buddies over the years but the two of us were inseparable—joined at the hip. There wasn’t room for any other close friends—until we met Raegan Holiday in fourth grade.

Angie and I lived in the same neighborhood and rode our Huffy bikes all over the addition all summer long. As hot and humid as Indiana summers are, we longed for a swimming pool. Neither of us had one, unless you counted my plastic frog pool. Then, Raegan moved into the addition. And, she moved into the house on the corner with a SWIMMING POOL!

We weren’t sure how to meet this new little girl, but just like Lucy and Ethel—Angie and I came up with a “brilliant plan.” We put on our bathing suits, draped our beach towels around our necks, and strapped on our goggles. Then, we rode our bikes over to Raegan’s house and hung out by the street corner saying clever things like, “Whew! It’s sure hot out here. Wish there was some place we could swim…”

Friends forever--Michelle and AngieRaegan’s mother, Patsy, must have admired our gutsiness and invited us in one afternoon. We soon discovered that we liked Raegan for way more than her pool. She was a cool kid—who had even won a tiara in a beauty pageant. I was sure it was made of real diamonds.

The terrific twosome became the three musketeers, and it’s been that way ever since. Through dance recitals, cheer camps, fad diets, fashion fiascos, triple dates, proms, heartbreaks, broken engagements, spring break vacations, SATs, college courses, marriages, births, miscarriages, cross-country moves, class reunions and everything else in life—we’ve been there for one another—forever friends.

Some friends are fair-weather. Some friends are for a season. But few friends are friends forever. Those friends are worth more than jewels—even diamond tiaras. I praise God for those forever-kind-of-friends, and I celebrate Raegan especially this week because her birthday was yesterday (Happy belated b-day, Raegan Leigh!) Friends come and friends go, but Angie and Raegan will always be in my life—just like the stars. Here’s hoping you have some stars in your life, too!

Pray this with me: “Father, thank You for placing such amazing friends in my life. Help me to never take them for granted. And, Lord, help me to bring glory to You in all of my relationships. In the Name of Your Son, Jesus. Amen.”

Friends and Coworkers

I happened to be trolling through the Guideposts.com video library today when I came across the one where Millie and Winky (Executive Editor Amy Wong’s dog) conduct a tour of the GUIDEPOSTS editorial offices in New York.

The dogs—with a little help from me—introduce you to some of the great people who make up our staff here, the talented folks who put together the magazines and websites. 

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I’ve mentioned before how much I love my job, no? This level of satisfaction is due in part because I like the people I work with. This is a pretty good office. Though I’ve not worked at too many others I’ve certainly worked at enough to know how bad and dysfunctional some are, and how unhappy people can be stuck in a miserable working situation. 

Our staff is quirky—what else would you expect of writers and designers? Yet somehow we manage not to drive each other too crazy. We are dedicated. A couple of our most key people started out as interns then moved up to be my assistant before going on to greater things—Nikki Lorimer and Adam Hunter (they do the Mysterious Ways newsletter among other jobs).

My current editorial assistant was also a college (NYU) intern, Andrea Craig (she just started). Andrea replaced Alice, who you see in the video. Alice went back to Kansas to attend graduate school. 

Lately our creative director, Audrey Razgaitis, has been hobbling around on a bad knee, the result of too much soccer and tennis playing (not that Audrey is competitive or anything). Recently she announced she would be needing surgery; we have our fingers crossed.

Our ANGELS ON EARTH editor, Colleen Hughes, had a health scare this summer. That worried us too. She’s better now and back to beating the bushes for angels, and we’re all relieved.

Jessica, an online producer, just got married. It was a good excuse for a party. Senior Editor Jim Hinch’s wife stopped by the other day with their tiny new baby, Benjamin. Another senior editor, Evan Miller, just lost his father, and our prayers go out to him and his family.  

Yesterday the staff videotaped our musical online Christmas greeting, which you’ll see soon. Rick Hamlin directed the singing (Rick can actually sing) which was no small chore getting the 20 or so of us to make it through “Jingle Bells” in the middle of the work day. A few takes were needed and a silly time was had by all.

We are entering the season of gratitude and one thing I am grateful for is my job. I am especially grateful that I work with such good and caring people. If you’ve got a minute, why don’t you tell me about your job. I’d love to hear.

Edward Grinnan is Editor-in-Chief and Vice President of GUIDEPOSTS Publications.

Freedom’s Angel

The bald eagle was only three months old, a baby, really. But she stood three feet tall with a seven-foot wingspan.

Those wings, unfortunately, were useless. She’d fallen 80 feet from her nest in a fir tree and now they were broken. That’s how she came to the Sarvey Wildlife Center where I volunteered.

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Kaye Baxter, the director, worked on her with another volunteer, Bob. I’d actually worked with quite a few eagles during the two years I’d helped care for sick and injured wild animals at Sarvey.

Still, there was something about this bird that drew me. She stared at me with dark, glassy eyes. I could tell she was in pain.

“Take her to the vet,” said Kaye. We filled a dog carrier with shredded paper and I put her in. She was too traumatized to resist. That’s always a bad sign with an eagle. I lifted her and placed her inside the carrier. She wasn’t heavy, about eight pounds.

Bald eagles, like all birds, have hollow bones that make them light. This bird still hadn’t learned to fly. She might even have been pushed from her nest by a rival sibling. A homeowner in a nearby town had found her in their yard.

I took the front seat out of my old Ford Escort and loaded the dog carrier in. The vet was about 25 miles away. As I drove I gazed out at the beautiful pine-forested foothills of the Cascade Mountains and talked nonstop to the eagle. “You’re going to make it,” I kept saying.

The vet inserted stabilizing pins into her wings and wrapped them in bandages. I tried not to think about what would happen if she didn’t heal. I wanted her to be able to be a real eagle, to fly with her eagle brothers and fish for salmon in the river.

I kept up my reassuring chatter on the drive back to Sarvey. I was violating rule number one of working with wildlife. We’re not supposed to form emotional bonds because the goal is to return animals to the wild with as little human influence as possible.

I couldn’t help myself. I kept looking over at her. There was just something about her.

Slowly she healed, graduating from tube feedings to meals of chopped up rats, beef heart, quail and venison. She still couldn’t stand up. That meant she couldn’t tear apart her food. We had to chop it up.

She gained weight, but as weeks went by she made no progress standing. Every time I came to Sarvey, about twice a week, I made a beeline for her cage.

“Come on, girl,” I said to her. “You can make it. I know you can.” She seemed to trust me completely, letting me reach inside her cage and stroke her feathers.

Week eight. If she couldn’t stand by Friday she would have to be euthanized; this was no life for an eagle. Thursday afternoon I walked into the center to find everyone grinning at me. I ran to Freedom’s cage. There she was, standing on her own two feet. She would live!

A week later the vet removed the pins from her wings. I watched anxiously as she stretched out her right wing to its full length. She tried to stretch the left but it caught partway. “It’s as healed as it’s going to get,” said the vet. “This bird won’t fly.”

“She could be an educational bird,” said Kaye. Very few birds can be part of the presentations we did about wildlife and Sarvey for schools and other venues. An educational bird needs to be glove-trained.

“You’re obviously the man for the job,” Kaye said. An educational bird, unlike a wild one, could have a name. We decided to call her Freedom.

It wasn’t long before Freedom was stepping willingly onto my elbow-length leather glove. We created an outdoor enclosure for her to live in and I began acclimating her to long trips in a carrier with a perch.

Soon we were driving all over the Seattle area visiting schools and attending Eagle Scout ceremonies.

Freedom handled every event like a pro. She was so amazingly calm, so tuned in to my every thought and move. When I held Freedom I felt most fully alive.

Freedom and I worked as a team until one day, two years later, I felt a lump on my throat. I was a healthy guy so I didn’t pay much attention until a biopsy showed I had stage three non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. “The survival rate is about seventy-five percent,” the doctor told me.

I started chemotherapy immediately and even went to the barber shop to have my head shaved ahead of time. I planned to beat this disease with quick efficiency and at first it seemed that’s exactly what I was doing.

After three infusions of the drugs the tumor in my spleen had shrunk. Two more infusions, though, and the tumor was still there. I had three infusions to go. The doctors said that with my type of cancer if the disease isn’t gone after eight rounds of drugs it’s not going to go away and they stop treatment.

Every infusion of drugs left me feeling sicker. And the tumor refused to budge. I thought of Freedom sitting in that dog carrier in my Ford Escort that first day I met her. “You’re going to make it,” I’d told her. I wasn’t so sure about me.

One night after the fifth round of treatment I had a dream. I saw a dark speck in the sky. The speck slowly grew until I realized it was Freedom flying toward me.

Her wings stretched out perfectly, huge and beautiful. She soared and banked then flew right at me. Her head plunged toward my chest and suddenly she rose back into the air, my cancer somehow clutched in her powerful beak. She’d ripped the illness clean out of me. She flew out of sight.

The day of the last treatment came shortly before Thanksgiving. I felt awful afterward but somehow lighter in spirit. On Thanksgiving Day I managed to visit Freedom and give her a turkey leg.

Bald eagles don’t get their characteristic white head feathers until they mature around five or six years old. Was I going to see Freedom’s white feathers? I had seen them in my dream. Looking at her now I hoped I would see them in reality. I had to live for her.

The following Monday I heard results of a blood test that would determine whether I still had cancer in my body. The doctor entered the room smiling. “There are no signs of cancer anywhere,” he said.

I drove straight to Sarvey and ran to Freedom’s enclosure. She stepped onto my glove and I strode outside the center and walked to where we could gaze out over the Skykomish River valley. The air was cool and moist and smelled of evergreens and earth.

To the west the river ran toward Puget Sound and the Pacific Ocean. To the east rose the snow-clad slopes of the Cascades.

I breathed in and all of a sudden felt something on my right shoulder. Freedom’s injured left wing rested there. Her right wing swung around and reached all the way to the middle of my back. My head was enclosed in eagle feathers. Freedom was embracing me! She’d never done anything like this.

We stared at each other. Our heads leaned in and she touched my nose with her beak. You’re going to make it. I’d said those words to her so many times. I think all along she was saying them to me too.

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